Dr Love says a marriage is on the rocks in 5 years. A man will get tired doing sex with the same woman. He needs to venture into new phrase. Divorces and affairs are common. Nothing to be ashamed or sad about. My take is that from 1-3 years is the honeymoon adventures. In this 36 months the married partners must strive to improve on what they know about each other. Share it in thoughts and actions and dont lie or short-changed in the married relationship. Here there are couples got pregnant and started a family. This is the weak spot. The wife thinks she can have a complete family with children................but the husband thinks he has been delegated to a second place. In this period the wife will pay more attention to her health and her new birth. She doesnt think about her husband. She thinks he understands her needs. Wrong! This is the part where the neglected husband will look elsewhere to satisfy his needs - affairs with young women or single matured women or prostitutes. He knows where to find. Nowadays there are many young women looking for experienced guys to have sex. Night clubs, discos, night lounges, bars and cafes.............When the child is born, tough times for the husband and wife. Who come first? Will the wife say it is her child now? "I dont want to have sex now. I am tired taking care of our child. I need spaces to relax." The husband boiling inside but he never tells his feeling. So he grumbles to his friends or colleagues. And he looks elsewhere. Blame the wife. Blame the child. Blame his needs. He can't find to appease his needs. So he sulks. The wife too. She blames her husband not understanding her perspectives; she blames him for not supporting her; she picks her anger on him when the child is sick because she has to spend more time with her child; she nags him for not being around, and so forth until the rainbow disappears the cloudy sky looms in their eyes and minds. The cracks on their married life appears. If the team can tough it out from 4-5 years, the subsequent years will help to smooth the flow of married life. It is also important the partner must be frank and honest in the relationship. Sex is a gift of God. It must be shared all the times. No excuse must be given. It is ashamed really that many couples neglected it in pursuit of wealth. Sex keeps couples healthy and strong. Give a couple a strong run to tackle the daily problems in their lives. When I was young in my kampong, the elders used to share with us. When you are single, go and plant your seeds. When you married, no more fooling around. Stay on with the one you choose; spread your seeds and see the trees grow. The day you fool around when you are married, it is the day you found God anger in you. He won't let you live in peace and enjoy your sex life. He creates doubts in your mind. I believe it is true. When a couple commits affairs, it is the end of their blissful life. They won't feel the same anymore. I always tell people men and women that you must think of your married partners as girlfriends or boyfriends. Never in second you think it is husband and wife. It spells trouble quicker than one realizes. In marriage one must pursue in the game of girlfriend and boyfriend. Think about it. The chase, the talk never seems to end, the words, the sharing of music, holding hands, finding ways to get sex, trying new ways to have sex, the adventures plan to satisfy each other and each thinks it is good partner. Then marriage. Everything dies. You say hello he says what's for dinner? Sound familiar? I always go for girlfriend. I always keep it on my mind. Tomorrow is a new day; a new page to write.....
Good wishes to Dr M and Dr Siti Hasmah for your wonderful 51 years together. Allah bless both of you. Let this be a journey for many of the people too
No comments:
Post a Comment