Of Merdeka, Myths & Make-believe by Martin Jalleh
It is close to Merdeka. Patriotic songs permeate the air. Snippets of the past on our TV screens pull at our heartstrings. Touching and tear-jerking advertisements are played over and again. Of course the unspoken prime preoccupation of many Malaysians is the Mega Sale or the Merdeka Sale - where no powerful persuasion is needed to solicit a response.
The pomp, pageantry, parades, presentations by personalities and plastic flags fluttering in the air - they are to prompt us to ponder on the progress we have made as a nation for these past 48 years. Has Bolehland been the promised land and the matchless paradise the government has tried so hard and passionately to portray? We are expected to be 'positive' and to share in the platitudes plastered on the pages of our newspapers.
Sophisticated Society
Over the years Bolehland has successfully evolved into a sophisticated society. Naturally courteous, caring and conscientious Malaysians have become cold, cutting and 'couldn't care less' citizens. A nation of sophisticated self-centered snobs snubbing, snapping and snarling around will however be quite detrimental to the tourism industry. And so we now have a Courtesy and Noble Values Campaign - to coax and cajole, especially the civil service, into a compliance to be courteous.
Parliamentarians and assemblymen are to lead by example and to refrain from using 'rough and foul' language in the august house. But Kinabatangan MP Datuk Bung Moktar Radin says that as a wakil rakyat he needs to 'ensure the message is delivered". "In chasing after development, we have to be firm and sometimes, using such language reflects our firmness,' - is Bung's pure bun(g)kum.
Meanwhile the powerful machine of crass materialism continues to churn out an inward-looking and indifferent progressive people preoccupied only with personal gain and gratification.
Petty Parliament
Parliament has also gone through much transformation. The august house has a relatively new speaker after his predecessor who held the position for a stretch of 22 years, had passed away whilst still sitting in the chair.
Our MPs whom we expect to dwell on and debate over vital issues concerning the people have proven to be very adept at verbal brawls and vulgar jokes or remaining virtually silent. Some have shown great vigor in venturing into the cafeteria, or in becoming part of the varnish, and still others appear from the woodwork only to vote when and as instructed .
There are some MPs who try hard to make up for their lack of depth by being very versatile in being dramatic. Can anyone match the theatrics of Minister in the PM's Department who shouted 'racist' 41 times at two MPs in a space of several minutes during a debate? This very same man, Mohd Nazri Aziz very sincerely believes that: "Compared to other Parliaments in countries of equal development as Malaysia, our quality of debate is still relatively low."
And when the intelligent veneer of some MP begins to fade and fall off, they would veer off into the crude and childish. A good example of this is backbencher Badruddin Amiruldin (BN-Jerai) who in July this year yelled 'this is an Islamic state... if anyone doesn't like it, just get out of Malaysia'. Or they would be close to being violent, as was the case of a Perak BN politician who threatened to punch an opposition leader during an argument over a motion on the haze crisis at the state assembly sitting recently.
In recent years, the powers that be have grown to be desperately creative in finding the most frivolous excuse to suspend an MP from Parliament. Equally creative are they in their excuses for not wanting parliamentary proceedings to be telecasted live.
Then there was of course the historic moment of 28 April this year when the chambers in parliament got all wet as a result of a leak in parliament's roof, and the sitting having to be postponed. It was described as being very symbolic of the state of affairs in the House - especially when one takes into consideration the fact that it happened after Parliament was renovated for RM85 million and that the final cost could be as high as RM99 million.
Endangered Environment
Our leaders have in the past quite bluntly told the West that they have no business commenting on the way the government handles the environment in Malaysia. After 48 years of self-rule, the powers that be have done just as well as the West in allowing the degradation and destruction of the environment. They have repeated the mistakes of the West.
Air quality has deteriorated drastically. The haze has become an annual affair. Rivers are drying up and dying; protection forests are being de-gazetted for logging or luxury housing; the land resources of indigenous and local communities are damaged and their livelihood disrupted; animal species are disappearing and on the route to extinction.
The country's marine ecosystem, among the world's richest in terms of biodiversity, is rapidly deteriorating. Our fishery resources are being depleted and coastal wetlands such as mangrove forests and coral reefs increasingly destroyed.
'Development' has produced severe water shortage, flash floods, 'collapsible' highways, landslides, toxic waste dumps and of course 'sterile' official speeches, statements, studies, stern warnings, strict measures and sound policies on environmental protection. We are told its all part of development.
Soiled Success
The country's success has been defined by its magnificent skyline and mushrooming mega monuments. Many prefer to ignore the backdrop of a strained and soiled social fabric. We have towering buildings but very few towering Malaysians. We have taken on the West's obsession with industrialization, modernization and urbanization. Yet we do not know how to cope with the unbridled changes these processes have unleashed.
Divorce and dysfunctional families are being accepted as part of the price we would have to pay for 'progress'. The failure to meet their aspirations has resulted in many (especially the young) looking for forms of escapism, resulting in rural to urban migration and substance abuse.Bolehland can boast of having a new drug addict every 29 minutes, the highest smoking prevalence in the world and being the 10th largest consumer of alcohol in the world.
We have matured into a sex-saturated society where 1 in 3 men are sexually active; 1 in 10 married men have casual sex; 1 in 5 youths in KL who date have pre-marital sex; and 80% of those who watch blue movies are below 18 years.
Perhaps nothing rips away at Malaysia's social fabric so tragically than greed and corruption. If one were to tally the amount this nation has lost through corruption and the mismanagement of public funds, it would no doubt be a world record beater.
Shaky Safety
After 48 years of self-rule, the citizens of this country do not feel very much safer. Between 1973-2003, the police crime index registered a 230% increase in the number of reported cases of crime -- from 40,053 in 1973 to 156,315 in 2003. Taking into account population growth, this averages to about 3,875 cases per year or about 11 cases a day. Quite disturbing also is the fact that over the 30-years period violent crimes increased from 3,192 cases to 22,790 cases, i.e., about 2.7 times higher than for all crimes taken together.
Between 1997-2001, 6,884 rape cases were reported. Only 1 in 10 rape survivors reports the rape. 50% of rape victims in Malaysia are under 16 years. A total of about 90 cases of wife battery take place per day nationwide.
The findings of the Royal Commission on the Police Force provide ample justification for the public's perception that the police itself has been a threat to public safety and its well-being.Will the government adopt the 125 recommendations made by the Commission, or is it meant only for its safe keeping?
Everyday an average or 3-4 people die and 30 are permanently disabled -- as a result of accidents in the workplace. There were 85,869 industrial accidents in the country in 2001.In 2001 an average of 16 people died every day as a result of road accidents. Of 11,302,545 registered vehicles, there were 265,175 road accidents which killed 5,849 people in 2001. The total number of accidents last year (2004) was 326,817 with a total of 6,223 fatalities.
Sedentary & Sick
We have become world record beaters in terms of "lifestyle diseases". Every hour 4 Malaysians discover they suffer from cancer; 25% of Malaysians are overweight and obese (the highest in Asia) and about 800,000 Malaysians are suffering from diabetes. Three million suffer from hypertension, while15-20 percent of the population suffer from some form of mental problem More than 10,000 people in the country die each year from hypertension, stroke and heart attack,
The government spent 7.56 billion ringgit on health care in 2003, or 6.9 percent of the national budget, compared with 6.6 percent in 1998.
In Malaysia the HIV-AIDS situation has developed into a "generalised epidemic" with the virus having spread beyond high-risk groups. About 65,000 people had been diagnosed with HIV by the end of 2004, but the United Nations believes some 81,000 Malaysians could be infected. (Malaysia has more HIV-AIDS cases compared to Australia with almost the same population.)About 40 percent of those who took part in a HIV- AIDS survey believed that beautiful women cannot get infected. A mufti has suggested that HIV/AIDS sufferers be banished to an island.
The most unhealthy development that has taken place is the Government's decision to privatise the country's healthcare system - one which for so long has received praise from the WHO.
Marginalised Minorities
47 years after Independence, the Orang Asli community, who have the longest history in this country by virtue of them being the earliest inhabitants of Malaysia, continue to be shortchanged.Till today, they are represented not by one of their own choice but by a senator appointed by the government. 81 percent of them still live below the poverty line. At least 50 percent of their children drop out of primary school. More than half of the Orang Asli reserve land in the Peninsula has yet to be gazetted.
Another indigenous community who wish they could wave away their troubles away is the Penan, a native of Sarawak. They have been increasingly dispossessed of their native customary lands. Their plants, food and wildlife resources have progressively disappeared. Their forests and property damaged by logging companies aided and abetted by agents of the State.
Then there are the rubber estate/plantation workers - described by Datuk Samy Vellu as 'engines for Malaysia's economic growth - who are given eviction orders, paid a pittance as compensation or dragged into a tedious Court process intended to break their resolve for justice. Each day they worry about how are they going to survive with a meager 350 ringgit monthly salary. It becomes more worrying as the prices of basic and essential goods continue to soar.
There are other minority groups who have been displaced, deprived, disempowered and dislodged from their social environment and/or natural resource support system, and who have become disillusioned and dysfunctional. If only they could flag away their troubles this Merdeka.
Regressive Race
Malaysia has so often been presented in the showplace of nations as a shining model of a multi-racial society. One can expect many moving photos of racial integration this Merdeka.Yet, after 48 years of Independence "racial polarisation and religious intolerance are becoming worrying trends in the country" - reveals the National Unity and Social Development Ministry.
The Ministry further reveals: "What is even more worrying is that such trends have taken root in our schools" (Star, 20.3.03). This claim has been reinforced by former PM Dr Mahathir Mohamed, who, during his tenure, had expressed concern over the development in local universities 'where students were keeping to their own race, did not live in the same dormitory, sat apart in lecture theatres and did not mix around during extra-curricular activities'.
Mahathir had also opined: 'The education system has failed in its main objective of achieving national unity.'
After 48 years of Independence, we are still very much one nation - a nation politically represented by predominantly one Malay party, one Chinese party and one Indian party. Alas, the continued existence of racially-based political parties and race-oriented policies - after all these years - makes the journey towards national integration a race backwards.
More Make-believe
There are many more areas of Malaysian life that have been projected and portrayed in a very positive light and considered as the perfect and added reason to celebrate Merdeka, but at a closer look they make us wonder what have we actually achieved thus far.
The national education system for one is in a sad and sorry state. Endless controversies have plagued the system. Each new education minister introduces his new pet projects and short term solutions, both of which are often race- and politics- based.
Another major concern which has often been glossed over is that of inter-religious dialogue. ThePM's decision not to support the establishment of an inter-religious council and his directive on Bahasa Malaysia Bibles having to be stamped with the caveat, 'Not for Muslims' contradict his tear-accompanying sermons on dialogue, moderation and tolerance among religions.
There is also the issue of the gradual erosion of the fundamental rights of the people, and a parallel increase in the powers accumulated by the Executive.This is especially done through the Executive's honing to perfection and amending the laws left behind by the Colonial Master 48 years ago, making the laws even more repressive. After 48 years the people are made to believe that ultimate political decisions lie in the hands of the ruling elite and Malaysians cannot handle political liberties without killing each other.
We have no doubt come a long way as a nation, but it is very obvious that we have a very long way more to go to be truly what the government so loudly professes this nation to be. True patriotism calls for honest soul-searching as a nation. A country is only free when its citizens have the inner freedom of being courageous enough to stand up and speak up for what is true and right and just. It would be a Merdeka feat that we could indeed be very proud of. Happy National Day!
(30 Aug. 2005)
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i am out 36
Qualifications not everything in getting job done Charles F Moreira Aug 29, 05 1:16pm
Logically speaking, a suitably qualified person should be the best choice for a job. Practically, it doesn't necessarily follow that someone with a seemingly unsuitable qualification can't do a good job, especially not at the upper levels. You'd certainly need aircraft technician qualifications to maintain an aircraft or a medical qualification to be a doctor but while it helps, one doesn't have to be a doctor to manage a hospital or be a qualified pilot to run an airline. Richard Teo asks why the outgoing MAS managing director with an anthropology degree was chosen to head MAS. By the same token I could ask, what why are a bunch of guys from the music industry doing running a profitable budget airline? Besides, cronyism, nepotism, civil-service culture, etc, the suitability of someone to run an airline would depend more on his business acumen, some knowledge of the industry and perhaps the freedom to experiment, make deals and to try new and daring things. At the end of the day, the world increasingly seems to reward smart generalists, rather than highly-qualified specialists. Remember that with its extremely high selection criteria, Microsoft Corporation would most probably not hire Bill Gates if he applied for a job there today. While Gates is no dullard, he dropped out of his education to build Microsoft and as such doesn't have the qualifications the company he co-founded demands today. Neither did Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak have university degrees when they founded Apple.
It is the experience and connection that one needs to get through an interview for a job. The graduates who have the qualifications should realize that it is not paper qualification that could land him/her a job. It is how you presented yourself in the interview......which is not by qualification but it is your attitude towards the conversation. This is where the fishing begun to taste in the mind...
Logically speaking, a suitably qualified person should be the best choice for a job. Practically, it doesn't necessarily follow that someone with a seemingly unsuitable qualification can't do a good job, especially not at the upper levels. You'd certainly need aircraft technician qualifications to maintain an aircraft or a medical qualification to be a doctor but while it helps, one doesn't have to be a doctor to manage a hospital or be a qualified pilot to run an airline. Richard Teo asks why the outgoing MAS managing director with an anthropology degree was chosen to head MAS. By the same token I could ask, what why are a bunch of guys from the music industry doing running a profitable budget airline? Besides, cronyism, nepotism, civil-service culture, etc, the suitability of someone to run an airline would depend more on his business acumen, some knowledge of the industry and perhaps the freedom to experiment, make deals and to try new and daring things. At the end of the day, the world increasingly seems to reward smart generalists, rather than highly-qualified specialists. Remember that with its extremely high selection criteria, Microsoft Corporation would most probably not hire Bill Gates if he applied for a job there today. While Gates is no dullard, he dropped out of his education to build Microsoft and as such doesn't have the qualifications the company he co-founded demands today. Neither did Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak have university degrees when they founded Apple.
It is the experience and connection that one needs to get through an interview for a job. The graduates who have the qualifications should realize that it is not paper qualification that could land him/her a job. It is how you presented yourself in the interview......which is not by qualification but it is your attitude towards the conversation. This is where the fishing begun to taste in the mind...
Monday, August 29, 2005
sex education 14
Christian Sex Rules A guide to what's allowed in the bedroom By Louis and Melissa McBurney
When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice. However, some are plagued with guilt because they wonder if what they're doing is sinful.
Marriage Partnership receives many, many questions from Christian couples who want to know what is and what is not okay to do sexually. Unfortunately, churches tend to ignore this issue, small groups usually don't talk about sex, and most Christian books deal with more "spiritual" ideas.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a list of sexual practices categorized by "sinful" or "okay"? Is there such a list? Would everyone agree with the list? Is there a solution to this dilemma?
We think the answers to those questions are: yes, no, no, and probably not—in that order. We'd really like to create such a list that could settle once and forever the niggling doubts about sexual practices. But that's not possible. Different communities of Christians have different understandings about sexual practices that are based on a few general biblical principles. No list would be accepted by all Christians. Still, we do want to provide some guidelines that we hope will help you enjoy the gift of your sexuality to the fullest. That's what we're convinced God wants for each of his children.
We doubt that God's surprised by the intensity of our sexual desire or of its fulfillment. Seeing us enjoy the passion and pleasure seems to fit with his creative nature. There are some definite boundaries, however, that were identified through his Word. These are established to protect and enhance the maximum enjoyment of the gift. We think it's like our giving our kids bicycles. We'd teach them the safety rules right away so they could delight in the ride without being run over by a car on a busy street.
First, we'd like to point out the obvious—the Bible is not a manual on sexual technique. We've heard some people say that Song of Solomon describes acceptable sexual positions and behavior. We see it as a poetic love song that clearly embraces the joy of sexual play. We don't think it is an attempt to outline any specific sexual practices.
Second, we want to emphasize again that there are some specific sexual behaviors that are forbidden in scriptures. Adultery, that is having sexual intercourse with another person's spouse or a partner other than your own spouse, is a sin. Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, deepens the importance of marital faithfulness by extending the prohibition of infidelity to include a lustful thought life as well as the physical act of intercourse. Looking into our minds and hearts is an important principle for safeguarding the delights of intimacy.
Scripture is also clear about the evil of fornication—premarital sexual intercourse—which most of our culture accepts as normal and irresistible. We see many couples suffering from the consequences of their early promiscuity. The "sexual freedom" of our time isn't free and usually carries some pretty heavy costs.
The Bible also lists other practices that are "abominations" to God (Le v. 18, Rom. 1:21-32, I Thess. 4:1-8, and I Cor. 6:12-20). These include homosexuality, bestiality, and incest.
And last, there is a vast array of possible sexual practices for married couples that are not mentioned at all in Scripture (we can find no reference to Internet pornography, vibrators, or videos). So, since we aren't likely to find a definitive answer, the best we can do is find the principles God has given us and apply them to the cultural setting we're living in. As we look for those you may not be surprised to find that we're not much different in the twenty-first century than how mankind has been since creation. We have the same anatomical equipment, the same physiologic hormones, the same mental capacity for lust and fantasy, and the same relational needs that have always driven men and women to seek sexual pleasure and intimacy. As Ecclesiastes says, "there is nothing new under the sun," except maybe the vast array of new toys.
Exclusivity
Many studies have confirmed what biblical commandments imply. That is that becoming one flesh with one partner provides the best setting for satisfying sexual intimacy. Sex is neither a spectator sport for group indulgence nor an event to test a person's ability to score with multiple partners. Casual sex as a way to prove one's prowess or simply achieve physiologic relief of sexual tension only confirms that his or her ability to copulate is intact. Although providing some pleasure, it fails to meet the deeper need for intimacy that sex was designed to give.
A couple in a long-term committed relationship enters into a more secure and trusting territory with each sexual encounter. In that bed sex can truly become "making love" rather than just having sex. Multiple partners create mistrust, performance anxiety, and comparison evaluations that are barriers to the deepest levels of intimacy.
Mutuality
It is obvious to most couples early on that men and women are significantly different in their sexual interests and drives. Men usually have a desire for more frequent sex and greater variety in forms of sexual play. Women usually want more emotional connectedness through tender touch and conversation and prefer more consistent love-making technique. These differences often lead to tension over positions for intercourse, frequency of sex, and experimentation with different sources of stimulation.
This creates enormous opportunity for a couple to develop mutual submissiveness in their relationship. Each individual will have ways to show respect and give a meaningful gift of love to his or her mate. We feel that giving that respect to each other is a huge way to guide your choices of sexual play in the direction of genuinely mature love.
Doing only what is mutually agreeable sexually means that each partner will make sacrifices for the sake of intimacy. A wife may give herself more frequently or try a variety of sexual experiences that go beyond her comfort zone. A husband may relinquish some sexual fantasy or adjust his demands for intercourse twice a day just to show love to his mate. Those exercises in personal restraint are not easy, but help build the oneness of intimacy.
Specific behaviors that often fit this criteria are oral sex, rear-entry vaginal penetration, initiation of sexual activity, positions for intercourse, and mutual masturbation. We find no scriptural injunction against any of these or of frequency of intercourse. The Old Testament command of not having intercourse during a woman's menstrual period does seem to have the medical benefit of avoiding some infectious processes. Paul's admonition in I Corinthians not to withhold sex except by mutual consent seems to fit with this general principle of mutuality. It acknowledges the legitimacy of sexual desire and reinforces the boundary of sex within marriage.
Pleasurability
Sexual play should be enjoyable! If an activity you're doing doesn't bring enjoyment to both partners it will cause resentment and distance between you. That's not part of the design for "becoming one flesh." It may be that some forms of your sexual play create pain for one or both of you. That should be evaluated medically. If something is creating discomfort, it is probably treatable (such as vaginitis or painful erections). This can certainly produce barriers to intimacy.
At times couples may want to explore the areas of sado-masochistic sex or bondage fantasies. We feel that these behaviors move sex out of the arena of selfless love into that of power or domination fantasies. In those neighborhoods sex becomes an invasive, controlling behavior in which one person is violated. That is a sexual perversion and is likely to create shame, humiliation, and ultimate devaluation of one (or both) partners. When domination is a necessary ingredient for sexual pleasure there tends to be development of tolerance to the level of excitation. Hence increasing levels of the stimulation are required for the same sense of gratification. This is seen in its extreme in pornography that includes rape and even murder as forms of sexual stimulation.
Relationality
Duh! You might think. Well, of course, sexual intimacy includes a strong relational component.
Unfortunately, that ain't necessarily so. One of the most destructive forces we're seeing these days is the increasing frequency of sexual addictive disorders. When having sexual release becomes an addiction driven to levels of compulsive behavior, the relationship with a marriage partner may be replaced with various stimuli that are essentially fantasy based. We have seen men deeply hooked on Internet pornography (or other forms). They are compulsively driven to increasing exposure to pornographic stimulation and masturbatory release of sexual tension. We have seen women equally hooked on romance novels or chat-room sex talk for sexual release. These disorders displace the relational dimension of sexuality.
Marital sex, if maintained at all, takes place mechanically with mental fantasies from the artificial relationships providing the only sexual stimulation. That robs marriage of the most crucial part of intimacy—the blend of relational and sexual connectedness.
The use of pornographic films from whatever source introduces this possible danger into your sexuality. Explicit sexual materials can provide sexual excitement and arousal, but that form of stimulation may erode your enjoyment of each other. Those images may also create a basic sense of dissatisfaction with yourselves since most couples don't maintain or ever achieve the sensual appearance of porn actors and models. The whole industry is based on illusions and those lies can lead to death of your relationship as well as your sexual satisfaction.
Perpetuating Genital Union
We delight in sexual playfulness and creative ways to pleasure one another, but unless it is not physically possible for a couple, we think nothing you do should completely replace genital union. The symbolism of having the embrace of vagina to penis and total giving of the erect penis to the welcoming vaginal canal is a recurring reminder that we were created for each other. The intimacy of that connectedness should awaken our most primitive desire for oneness. To enjoy sexual release in that most passionate form of embrace welds us into oneness like few other experiences.
Melissa and Louis McBurney, M.D., Real Sex columnists for Marriage Partnership, are marriage therapists and co-founders of Marble Retreat in Marble, Colorado, where they counsel clergy couples.
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.Spring 2001, Vol. 18, No. 1, Page 34
When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice. However, some are plagued with guilt because they wonder if what they're doing is sinful.
Marriage Partnership receives many, many questions from Christian couples who want to know what is and what is not okay to do sexually. Unfortunately, churches tend to ignore this issue, small groups usually don't talk about sex, and most Christian books deal with more "spiritual" ideas.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a list of sexual practices categorized by "sinful" or "okay"? Is there such a list? Would everyone agree with the list? Is there a solution to this dilemma?
We think the answers to those questions are: yes, no, no, and probably not—in that order. We'd really like to create such a list that could settle once and forever the niggling doubts about sexual practices. But that's not possible. Different communities of Christians have different understandings about sexual practices that are based on a few general biblical principles. No list would be accepted by all Christians. Still, we do want to provide some guidelines that we hope will help you enjoy the gift of your sexuality to the fullest. That's what we're convinced God wants for each of his children.
We doubt that God's surprised by the intensity of our sexual desire or of its fulfillment. Seeing us enjoy the passion and pleasure seems to fit with his creative nature. There are some definite boundaries, however, that were identified through his Word. These are established to protect and enhance the maximum enjoyment of the gift. We think it's like our giving our kids bicycles. We'd teach them the safety rules right away so they could delight in the ride without being run over by a car on a busy street.
First, we'd like to point out the obvious—the Bible is not a manual on sexual technique. We've heard some people say that Song of Solomon describes acceptable sexual positions and behavior. We see it as a poetic love song that clearly embraces the joy of sexual play. We don't think it is an attempt to outline any specific sexual practices.
Second, we want to emphasize again that there are some specific sexual behaviors that are forbidden in scriptures. Adultery, that is having sexual intercourse with another person's spouse or a partner other than your own spouse, is a sin. Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, deepens the importance of marital faithfulness by extending the prohibition of infidelity to include a lustful thought life as well as the physical act of intercourse. Looking into our minds and hearts is an important principle for safeguarding the delights of intimacy.
Scripture is also clear about the evil of fornication—premarital sexual intercourse—which most of our culture accepts as normal and irresistible. We see many couples suffering from the consequences of their early promiscuity. The "sexual freedom" of our time isn't free and usually carries some pretty heavy costs.
The Bible also lists other practices that are "abominations" to God (Le v. 18, Rom. 1:21-32, I Thess. 4:1-8, and I Cor. 6:12-20). These include homosexuality, bestiality, and incest.
And last, there is a vast array of possible sexual practices for married couples that are not mentioned at all in Scripture (we can find no reference to Internet pornography, vibrators, or videos). So, since we aren't likely to find a definitive answer, the best we can do is find the principles God has given us and apply them to the cultural setting we're living in. As we look for those you may not be surprised to find that we're not much different in the twenty-first century than how mankind has been since creation. We have the same anatomical equipment, the same physiologic hormones, the same mental capacity for lust and fantasy, and the same relational needs that have always driven men and women to seek sexual pleasure and intimacy. As Ecclesiastes says, "there is nothing new under the sun," except maybe the vast array of new toys.
Exclusivity
Many studies have confirmed what biblical commandments imply. That is that becoming one flesh with one partner provides the best setting for satisfying sexual intimacy. Sex is neither a spectator sport for group indulgence nor an event to test a person's ability to score with multiple partners. Casual sex as a way to prove one's prowess or simply achieve physiologic relief of sexual tension only confirms that his or her ability to copulate is intact. Although providing some pleasure, it fails to meet the deeper need for intimacy that sex was designed to give.
A couple in a long-term committed relationship enters into a more secure and trusting territory with each sexual encounter. In that bed sex can truly become "making love" rather than just having sex. Multiple partners create mistrust, performance anxiety, and comparison evaluations that are barriers to the deepest levels of intimacy.
Mutuality
It is obvious to most couples early on that men and women are significantly different in their sexual interests and drives. Men usually have a desire for more frequent sex and greater variety in forms of sexual play. Women usually want more emotional connectedness through tender touch and conversation and prefer more consistent love-making technique. These differences often lead to tension over positions for intercourse, frequency of sex, and experimentation with different sources of stimulation.
This creates enormous opportunity for a couple to develop mutual submissiveness in their relationship. Each individual will have ways to show respect and give a meaningful gift of love to his or her mate. We feel that giving that respect to each other is a huge way to guide your choices of sexual play in the direction of genuinely mature love.
Doing only what is mutually agreeable sexually means that each partner will make sacrifices for the sake of intimacy. A wife may give herself more frequently or try a variety of sexual experiences that go beyond her comfort zone. A husband may relinquish some sexual fantasy or adjust his demands for intercourse twice a day just to show love to his mate. Those exercises in personal restraint are not easy, but help build the oneness of intimacy.
Specific behaviors that often fit this criteria are oral sex, rear-entry vaginal penetration, initiation of sexual activity, positions for intercourse, and mutual masturbation. We find no scriptural injunction against any of these or of frequency of intercourse. The Old Testament command of not having intercourse during a woman's menstrual period does seem to have the medical benefit of avoiding some infectious processes. Paul's admonition in I Corinthians not to withhold sex except by mutual consent seems to fit with this general principle of mutuality. It acknowledges the legitimacy of sexual desire and reinforces the boundary of sex within marriage.
Pleasurability
Sexual play should be enjoyable! If an activity you're doing doesn't bring enjoyment to both partners it will cause resentment and distance between you. That's not part of the design for "becoming one flesh." It may be that some forms of your sexual play create pain for one or both of you. That should be evaluated medically. If something is creating discomfort, it is probably treatable (such as vaginitis or painful erections). This can certainly produce barriers to intimacy.
At times couples may want to explore the areas of sado-masochistic sex or bondage fantasies. We feel that these behaviors move sex out of the arena of selfless love into that of power or domination fantasies. In those neighborhoods sex becomes an invasive, controlling behavior in which one person is violated. That is a sexual perversion and is likely to create shame, humiliation, and ultimate devaluation of one (or both) partners. When domination is a necessary ingredient for sexual pleasure there tends to be development of tolerance to the level of excitation. Hence increasing levels of the stimulation are required for the same sense of gratification. This is seen in its extreme in pornography that includes rape and even murder as forms of sexual stimulation.
Relationality
Duh! You might think. Well, of course, sexual intimacy includes a strong relational component.
Unfortunately, that ain't necessarily so. One of the most destructive forces we're seeing these days is the increasing frequency of sexual addictive disorders. When having sexual release becomes an addiction driven to levels of compulsive behavior, the relationship with a marriage partner may be replaced with various stimuli that are essentially fantasy based. We have seen men deeply hooked on Internet pornography (or other forms). They are compulsively driven to increasing exposure to pornographic stimulation and masturbatory release of sexual tension. We have seen women equally hooked on romance novels or chat-room sex talk for sexual release. These disorders displace the relational dimension of sexuality.
Marital sex, if maintained at all, takes place mechanically with mental fantasies from the artificial relationships providing the only sexual stimulation. That robs marriage of the most crucial part of intimacy—the blend of relational and sexual connectedness.
The use of pornographic films from whatever source introduces this possible danger into your sexuality. Explicit sexual materials can provide sexual excitement and arousal, but that form of stimulation may erode your enjoyment of each other. Those images may also create a basic sense of dissatisfaction with yourselves since most couples don't maintain or ever achieve the sensual appearance of porn actors and models. The whole industry is based on illusions and those lies can lead to death of your relationship as well as your sexual satisfaction.
Perpetuating Genital Union
We delight in sexual playfulness and creative ways to pleasure one another, but unless it is not physically possible for a couple, we think nothing you do should completely replace genital union. The symbolism of having the embrace of vagina to penis and total giving of the erect penis to the welcoming vaginal canal is a recurring reminder that we were created for each other. The intimacy of that connectedness should awaken our most primitive desire for oneness. To enjoy sexual release in that most passionate form of embrace welds us into oneness like few other experiences.
Melissa and Louis McBurney, M.D., Real Sex columnists for Marriage Partnership, are marriage therapists and co-founders of Marble Retreat in Marble, Colorado, where they counsel clergy couples.
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.Spring 2001, Vol. 18, No. 1, Page 34
Saturday, August 27, 2005
i am out 35
Negotiated tenders’ have cost country billions MLIN Aug 26, 05 3:16pm
Dr Mahathir Mohamad's latest comment on corruption reminds me of a trip I made to the Philippines in December 1981. I was on a tour to some extinct volcano area outside Manila and traveling in a mini-bus together with other tourists from the West and Japan. During the journey, the part-time tourist guide gamely asked each of us to introduce ourselves and our countries. I remember saying, among other things, that there was a new government in place but unfortunately this was by far the most corrupt government Malaysia ever had. Why did I say that? By then Mahathir had dismantled the open tender system and awarded the Dayabumi building contract to a Japanese contractor at more than RM650 million, a colossal sum in those days, without an open tender. Mahathir explained that he wanted the Dayabumi to be completed fast using steel structures and that Malaysians had neither the expertise nor the experience. That was a big lie. Did he bother to find out? Malaysians had already designed and built the Promet building in Jalan Tun Ismail just opposite Wisma Genting using structural steel frames. It was no coincidence that the same Japanese contractor for Dayabumi was soon awarded the contract for the new Umno building at Jalan Tun Ismail. This had given new meaning to the term 'transfer pricing'. Mahathir's single act of dismantling the open tender system has cost Malaysia hundreds of billions of ringgit with contracts being 'negotiated' (by whom, on what basis?). Money went down the drain when not only prices rose by two to three times but also when contracts were given to inexperienced and incompetent companies (many with RM2 paid-up capital). Projects were delayed and bad workmanship was order of the day. Computer labs and naval patrol vessels are such examples. Mahathir created the Umnoputras and even he could not wean them off from easy money. Placing the Anti-corruption Agency under Parliament is the only way to prevent future abuse of power. In 1981, I never dreamt that corruption in Malaysia would become what it is today - a culture that has permeated in all
levels of government.
It is so simple. When you are in power, you could do practically many things. On the front it could be above the laws but on implementation itself it could be corrupted. Even in business one has to scout for at least two quotations of a particular item before order is made. When there is money to be made everyone would bid for it. Here it is the connection that built the rapport to get the government contracts. Dr Mahathir didnt believe in his own people then. When he could in the years to come, the corruption has got a hold in many structures of society. He also did away for English Language in the early 80s when he was the Education Minister. Now see what happens to our graduates.......possibly they couldnt talk and write good English. So how to compete with the world....please dont compare us with Korean or Japanese...we are leagues behind them in work ethics.
Dr Mahathir Mohamad's latest comment on corruption reminds me of a trip I made to the Philippines in December 1981. I was on a tour to some extinct volcano area outside Manila and traveling in a mini-bus together with other tourists from the West and Japan. During the journey, the part-time tourist guide gamely asked each of us to introduce ourselves and our countries. I remember saying, among other things, that there was a new government in place but unfortunately this was by far the most corrupt government Malaysia ever had. Why did I say that? By then Mahathir had dismantled the open tender system and awarded the Dayabumi building contract to a Japanese contractor at more than RM650 million, a colossal sum in those days, without an open tender. Mahathir explained that he wanted the Dayabumi to be completed fast using steel structures and that Malaysians had neither the expertise nor the experience. That was a big lie. Did he bother to find out? Malaysians had already designed and built the Promet building in Jalan Tun Ismail just opposite Wisma Genting using structural steel frames. It was no coincidence that the same Japanese contractor for Dayabumi was soon awarded the contract for the new Umno building at Jalan Tun Ismail. This had given new meaning to the term 'transfer pricing'. Mahathir's single act of dismantling the open tender system has cost Malaysia hundreds of billions of ringgit with contracts being 'negotiated' (by whom, on what basis?). Money went down the drain when not only prices rose by two to three times but also when contracts were given to inexperienced and incompetent companies (many with RM2 paid-up capital). Projects were delayed and bad workmanship was order of the day. Computer labs and naval patrol vessels are such examples. Mahathir created the Umnoputras and even he could not wean them off from easy money. Placing the Anti-corruption Agency under Parliament is the only way to prevent future abuse of power. In 1981, I never dreamt that corruption in Malaysia would become what it is today - a culture that has permeated in all
levels of government.
It is so simple. When you are in power, you could do practically many things. On the front it could be above the laws but on implementation itself it could be corrupted. Even in business one has to scout for at least two quotations of a particular item before order is made. When there is money to be made everyone would bid for it. Here it is the connection that built the rapport to get the government contracts. Dr Mahathir didnt believe in his own people then. When he could in the years to come, the corruption has got a hold in many structures of society. He also did away for English Language in the early 80s when he was the Education Minister. Now see what happens to our graduates.......possibly they couldnt talk and write good English. So how to compete with the world....please dont compare us with Korean or Japanese...we are leagues behind them in work ethics.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
i am out 34
University vice-chancellors a pathetic lot Prof P Ramasamy Aug 24, 05 3:12pm
My recent termination, the non-approval of leave for Terence Gomez of Universiti Malaya, the pressure applied on UPM's vice-chancellor Mohd Zohadie and the mere one-year extension for academic Shaharir Mohamad Zain of UKM represent few notable cases of senior academics who have been given a raw treatment by their respective universities and the Higher Education Ministry.
Of course, there are many other cases of senior academics who have just walked away silently rather than stand up and fight against the prevalent injustice in the various public universities. All these cases show that public universities in Malaysia suffer from a number of problems. First, despite the talk of democracy, freedom and transparency, universities are run by the Higher Education Ministry as mere clerical appendages. While the new minister can do much to bring about reforms that are badly needed, he seems rather silent and content. If not for the prime minister's intervention in the Gomez case and the pressure from the staff of UM, the rot in the academia would have gone unnoticed. To date, the minister of higher education seems more interested in denying and condoning various kinds of malpractices in the universities. Second, vice-chancellors of public universities are a pathetic lot. Very often, they have been appointed not on the basis of academic criteria, but whether they have the right political connections. In fact, there are grounds to believe that Umno seems to be playing an important role in terms of determining who should be vice-chancellors and their deputies. Third, public universities in the country do not provide students and lecturers an environment in which knowledge and learning could be pursued without any restrictions. There is so much fear in campuses leading to the imposition of self-censorship. How can you have the development of world-class universities when campus life is so sterile and monotonous? How can you have world-class universities when leaders of universities like vice-chancellors do not have the academic and intellectual abilities to provide the vision? Frankly speaking, universities in the country - supposedly centres of learning and wisdom - are in a miserable state of affairs. Academics seem more interested in pleasing and humouring their immediate bosses rather engaging in research and learning. Conditions in public universties are so bad that lecturers do not present proper lectures and their notes have not been updated for graduate courses. I do not intend to go into the whole list of litanies here. My forthcoming book on the nature and causes of the present malaise in the public universities should be able to elaborate in detail on
this.
The government wanted the country to be the centre of education. Yet the way the minister and vice chancellors carry out their duties are pathetic base on what had been written. I think the PM should change the minister and also the vice chancellors. The key words- accountability, integrity and transparancy- never in these people vocabulary. It is only a mouth piece without action. I had already seen our graduates out from the universities....they can't really know where to start looking for jobs....again the government has to provide practical courses to equip them for better job prospects...If the PM doesnt want to remove these people, he can forget about Vision 2020!
My recent termination, the non-approval of leave for Terence Gomez of Universiti Malaya, the pressure applied on UPM's vice-chancellor Mohd Zohadie and the mere one-year extension for academic Shaharir Mohamad Zain of UKM represent few notable cases of senior academics who have been given a raw treatment by their respective universities and the Higher Education Ministry.
Of course, there are many other cases of senior academics who have just walked away silently rather than stand up and fight against the prevalent injustice in the various public universities. All these cases show that public universities in Malaysia suffer from a number of problems. First, despite the talk of democracy, freedom and transparency, universities are run by the Higher Education Ministry as mere clerical appendages. While the new minister can do much to bring about reforms that are badly needed, he seems rather silent and content. If not for the prime minister's intervention in the Gomez case and the pressure from the staff of UM, the rot in the academia would have gone unnoticed. To date, the minister of higher education seems more interested in denying and condoning various kinds of malpractices in the universities. Second, vice-chancellors of public universities are a pathetic lot. Very often, they have been appointed not on the basis of academic criteria, but whether they have the right political connections. In fact, there are grounds to believe that Umno seems to be playing an important role in terms of determining who should be vice-chancellors and their deputies. Third, public universities in the country do not provide students and lecturers an environment in which knowledge and learning could be pursued without any restrictions. There is so much fear in campuses leading to the imposition of self-censorship. How can you have the development of world-class universities when campus life is so sterile and monotonous? How can you have world-class universities when leaders of universities like vice-chancellors do not have the academic and intellectual abilities to provide the vision? Frankly speaking, universities in the country - supposedly centres of learning and wisdom - are in a miserable state of affairs. Academics seem more interested in pleasing and humouring their immediate bosses rather engaging in research and learning. Conditions in public universties are so bad that lecturers do not present proper lectures and their notes have not been updated for graduate courses. I do not intend to go into the whole list of litanies here. My forthcoming book on the nature and causes of the present malaise in the public universities should be able to elaborate in detail on
this.
The government wanted the country to be the centre of education. Yet the way the minister and vice chancellors carry out their duties are pathetic base on what had been written. I think the PM should change the minister and also the vice chancellors. The key words- accountability, integrity and transparancy- never in these people vocabulary. It is only a mouth piece without action. I had already seen our graduates out from the universities....they can't really know where to start looking for jobs....again the government has to provide practical courses to equip them for better job prospects...If the PM doesnt want to remove these people, he can forget about Vision 2020!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
sex education 13
Sex Safety
Sex safety doesn't end with condoms...
Safer sex does not just entail wearing a condom, but also includes keeping clean, knowing what to avoid and making the right decisions.
Keeping clean
Practicing safer sex is indeed much more involved than simply wearing a condom. Couples must be conscious of the potential dangers and avoid engaging in risky behavior.
There are a number of fluids involved in sex - urine, feces, semen, vaginal secretions, saliva, and blood - fluids with which either partner can come into contact through the course of virtually any form of sexual activity. Many of these fluids are excellent carriers of disease, and should be handled with care.
Never have vaginal sex after anal sex without washing first. The feces carry many organisms that can infect the vagina, and can be transferred by a penis, dildo, mouth or finger like a bee transfers pollen. Wash well or use a different condom to make sure you don't cause infection.
Never share condoms, dildos or sex toys. A condom should only ever be used once. If you do plan to use a sex toy or dildo that was used by someone else, remember to wash it well with soap and water. If you are really unsure, you can even use bleach to clean these items, and rinse them extremely well, or put a condom over the object.
Always wash well before anal play. Anal play is safer if you wash the anus and surrounding area with soap and water beforehand. It is also recommended that you defecate (have a bowel movement) well before you begin.
Always wash towels and bedsheets. Some STDs (such as scabies) can be transmitted through fabric. Never reuse towels used to wash up after sex as a hand or face towel; just throw any towels straight into the laundry, or use bathroom tissue.
Other issues to consider
Athletic sex
Ouch! Imagine the pain of damaging your penis during unusually athletic sex. Also imagine the tearing to the lining of the vagina or anus if you're not careful. Athletic sex refers to extremely vigorous sex involving penetration of some kind. When a penis is involved, there is the danger of causing trauma to the penis especially if the other partner is on top. If the penis misses entry during copulation, it can jam against the body of the partner, possibly causing some of the vessels in the penis to burst, or tissue to tear. If this does happen, go immediately to an emergency room. In the case of tearing and abrasion, always use copious amounts of lubrication to lessen the amount of friction against the tissue.
Heart disease
It's no mystery that sex is a strenuous activity. Some liken the act to a good workout. Consequently, you should treat sex as a form of exercise, and consult your doctor about whether or not you are fit to enjoy it if you suffer from heart disease. Often a doctor will tell you ways of having less strenuous sex, such as positions which are not as physically demanding.
Source from sexual health info
Whatever you do, use common sense. It is a good advice for any one who wanted to practise sexual encounters.
Sex safety doesn't end with condoms...
Safer sex does not just entail wearing a condom, but also includes keeping clean, knowing what to avoid and making the right decisions.
Keeping clean
Practicing safer sex is indeed much more involved than simply wearing a condom. Couples must be conscious of the potential dangers and avoid engaging in risky behavior.
There are a number of fluids involved in sex - urine, feces, semen, vaginal secretions, saliva, and blood - fluids with which either partner can come into contact through the course of virtually any form of sexual activity. Many of these fluids are excellent carriers of disease, and should be handled with care.
Never have vaginal sex after anal sex without washing first. The feces carry many organisms that can infect the vagina, and can be transferred by a penis, dildo, mouth or finger like a bee transfers pollen. Wash well or use a different condom to make sure you don't cause infection.
Never share condoms, dildos or sex toys. A condom should only ever be used once. If you do plan to use a sex toy or dildo that was used by someone else, remember to wash it well with soap and water. If you are really unsure, you can even use bleach to clean these items, and rinse them extremely well, or put a condom over the object.
Always wash well before anal play. Anal play is safer if you wash the anus and surrounding area with soap and water beforehand. It is also recommended that you defecate (have a bowel movement) well before you begin.
Always wash towels and bedsheets. Some STDs (such as scabies) can be transmitted through fabric. Never reuse towels used to wash up after sex as a hand or face towel; just throw any towels straight into the laundry, or use bathroom tissue.
Other issues to consider
Athletic sex
Ouch! Imagine the pain of damaging your penis during unusually athletic sex. Also imagine the tearing to the lining of the vagina or anus if you're not careful. Athletic sex refers to extremely vigorous sex involving penetration of some kind. When a penis is involved, there is the danger of causing trauma to the penis especially if the other partner is on top. If the penis misses entry during copulation, it can jam against the body of the partner, possibly causing some of the vessels in the penis to burst, or tissue to tear. If this does happen, go immediately to an emergency room. In the case of tearing and abrasion, always use copious amounts of lubrication to lessen the amount of friction against the tissue.
Heart disease
It's no mystery that sex is a strenuous activity. Some liken the act to a good workout. Consequently, you should treat sex as a form of exercise, and consult your doctor about whether or not you are fit to enjoy it if you suffer from heart disease. Often a doctor will tell you ways of having less strenuous sex, such as positions which are not as physically demanding.
Source from sexual health info
Whatever you do, use common sense. It is a good advice for any one who wanted to practise sexual encounters.
Monday, August 22, 2005
i am out 33
Proton needs to learn attitude from Hyundai Paul Tan Aug 19, 05 12:48pm
Hyundai builds four million vehicles annually today. By 2007, output is expected to be 5.5 million vehicles. Proton? Production is now shy of 200,000 cars a year. 178,431 sounds about right. Perodua? 113,431 vehicles. This is why Proton has no chance to give us good cars at fair prices. There are no economies of scale. How did Hyundai do it? They’ve been around since 1967. That’s 38 years. Proton? About 20 years. It was born in 1983. The first Proton Saga rolled off production lines in September 1985. Even the local market share that Proton holds is dropping so how can it compete internationally? Let’s all face it. If Proton-made cars that did not fall apart once they rolled off the production line, people would not turn to Korean makes. If Proton’s quality was comparable to Korean makes like Hyundai, would anyone still choose a Korean make? Can they voice out? Any particular reason? Right now Proton is still in the middle of controversy and without a CEO, while Hyundai is gunning for Volkswagen and DaimlerChrysler, aiming to pass them and be ranked fifth on the chart of the world’s five largest automobile makers. This vision despite its income dropping and prices rising because of the rise in the Korean Won versus the US dollar which make Hyundai cars more expensive. With the protection given to Proton here, even before Proton is successful they have gotten lazy. They simply do not listen to consumers. The opposite is with Hyundai, where its chairman follows the advice that JD Powers III himself had given him in 1998. One of the points Powers had mentioned was that Hyundai was not listening enough to customers, and quality levels were an issue. Hyundai chairman Chung Mong-Koo swore that the six-foot board with the advice plastered on it would not come down until Hyundai surpassed Toyota in quality control. Is he working at it? Yes. Hyundai defects rates have dropped from 272 problems per 100 vehicles in 1998 to just 117 per 100 vehicles in 2004. Hyundai has penetrated even the China market successfully. In the Chinese market, Beijing residents can be seen to ignore China’s own Charade taxis manufactured by Tianjin FAQ Xiali Automobile Co. They wait for a Hyundai Elantra taxi to pass by. Hyundai is in Japan, selling its cars via Mitsubishi dealerships. Hyundai is in India, where it is the third largest automobile maker there. A Euro1.1 billion factory is being built in Slovakia for Kia, while in Malaysia we still talk about how Proton managed to build a RM1.8 billion factory without getting help from the government. Chung is known as the ‘Tiger’ among Hyundai employees as he inspects Hyundai assembly lines every morning and scolds workers personally when he finds defects on cars being assembled. In Malaysia, we only have a tiger on the Proton badge. So what happens when Proton drivers send their cars back when they find defects? They hear ‘Biasa lah, Proton’ from the service centres. You can see the huge difference in attitude between Hyundai and Proton. Hyundai’s manufacturing methods have top-down control exercised through personal relationships instead of formal bureaucracy. But Hyundai’s struggle is not over yet. Its survival in the international market depends on how it positions itself despite the strengthening Korean won which are driving up the prices of its cars. So really, what is the Korean advantage? I’d say it all boils down to attitude.
Proton should wake up on its long slumber. Time the Board listens to the customers. It is not used pulling the strings of the government. Proton has to find its own way....the sooner the better though I know initially it is difficult....like children when they grow up they leave home to set up on their own....it is difficult initially but eventually time and experience win them the accolades But Proton? Customers come later...So Proton even dare not use its own campro engine for the Savvy car that tells me something isnt it? Lotus engineers yet for what? Overseas better....Excuse? Savvy car is 1.2 engine campro 1.6 engine can't fix in...One can scale down the engine capacity...I havent bought a Proton car yet.......well..I cross the bridge when the time comes
Hyundai builds four million vehicles annually today. By 2007, output is expected to be 5.5 million vehicles. Proton? Production is now shy of 200,000 cars a year. 178,431 sounds about right. Perodua? 113,431 vehicles. This is why Proton has no chance to give us good cars at fair prices. There are no economies of scale. How did Hyundai do it? They’ve been around since 1967. That’s 38 years. Proton? About 20 years. It was born in 1983. The first Proton Saga rolled off production lines in September 1985. Even the local market share that Proton holds is dropping so how can it compete internationally? Let’s all face it. If Proton-made cars that did not fall apart once they rolled off the production line, people would not turn to Korean makes. If Proton’s quality was comparable to Korean makes like Hyundai, would anyone still choose a Korean make? Can they voice out? Any particular reason? Right now Proton is still in the middle of controversy and without a CEO, while Hyundai is gunning for Volkswagen and DaimlerChrysler, aiming to pass them and be ranked fifth on the chart of the world’s five largest automobile makers. This vision despite its income dropping and prices rising because of the rise in the Korean Won versus the US dollar which make Hyundai cars more expensive. With the protection given to Proton here, even before Proton is successful they have gotten lazy. They simply do not listen to consumers. The opposite is with Hyundai, where its chairman follows the advice that JD Powers III himself had given him in 1998. One of the points Powers had mentioned was that Hyundai was not listening enough to customers, and quality levels were an issue. Hyundai chairman Chung Mong-Koo swore that the six-foot board with the advice plastered on it would not come down until Hyundai surpassed Toyota in quality control. Is he working at it? Yes. Hyundai defects rates have dropped from 272 problems per 100 vehicles in 1998 to just 117 per 100 vehicles in 2004. Hyundai has penetrated even the China market successfully. In the Chinese market, Beijing residents can be seen to ignore China’s own Charade taxis manufactured by Tianjin FAQ Xiali Automobile Co. They wait for a Hyundai Elantra taxi to pass by. Hyundai is in Japan, selling its cars via Mitsubishi dealerships. Hyundai is in India, where it is the third largest automobile maker there. A Euro1.1 billion factory is being built in Slovakia for Kia, while in Malaysia we still talk about how Proton managed to build a RM1.8 billion factory without getting help from the government. Chung is known as the ‘Tiger’ among Hyundai employees as he inspects Hyundai assembly lines every morning and scolds workers personally when he finds defects on cars being assembled. In Malaysia, we only have a tiger on the Proton badge. So what happens when Proton drivers send their cars back when they find defects? They hear ‘Biasa lah, Proton’ from the service centres. You can see the huge difference in attitude between Hyundai and Proton. Hyundai’s manufacturing methods have top-down control exercised through personal relationships instead of formal bureaucracy. But Hyundai’s struggle is not over yet. Its survival in the international market depends on how it positions itself despite the strengthening Korean won which are driving up the prices of its cars. So really, what is the Korean advantage? I’d say it all boils down to attitude.
Proton should wake up on its long slumber. Time the Board listens to the customers. It is not used pulling the strings of the government. Proton has to find its own way....the sooner the better though I know initially it is difficult....like children when they grow up they leave home to set up on their own....it is difficult initially but eventually time and experience win them the accolades But Proton? Customers come later...So Proton even dare not use its own campro engine for the Savvy car that tells me something isnt it? Lotus engineers yet for what? Overseas better....Excuse? Savvy car is 1.2 engine campro 1.6 engine can't fix in...One can scale down the engine capacity...I havent bought a Proton car yet.......well..I cross the bridge when the time comes
Friday, August 19, 2005
i am out 32
Don’t tell us to just accept bad air Orang Miri Aug 18, 05 1:26pm
My father passed away aged 83 years at the height of the previous haze. The coroner’s report reads that death was due to myocardial infection of the heart. My father’s heart gave out due to the chocking thick haze then. Now, my 40-day-old son voice is hoarse and barely audible due to the current haze in Miri. So pardon me if I do not share the same enthusiasm of some in accepting the haze as an expected, yearly occurrence. Believe me, if anyone, even if they are politicians, were to tell me to just smile and accept the situation, I will not hesistate to visit my fist to their face. So enough of this 'abang, adik' crap. Either go tell the 'abang' or 'adik' over there to do something about it or just bloody shut up and go retire on some golf courses.
This haze problem is with us for the last 2 decades. The government always say we will consult and offer advice to Indonesia likewise the Indonesian government will apologise and truthfully say they will solve the haze issue. It is now becoming the same routine every year. And know what? The same stupid answer from the both government mouth piece - same issue same story I dont think I will see this issue close its business. As long as profits generated companies go, the CEOs of these companies will not bow to any pressure at all. As usual the top guns will issue a pr statement that their companies are responsible and law abiding corporate enitity....then nothing is mentioned again until the next haze laughing at us in the sky...The government of the day should take lawful action on these CEOs and Board of Directors and put them in prison until such time the haze issue is solved! These people only sit in their cool offices.....
My father passed away aged 83 years at the height of the previous haze. The coroner’s report reads that death was due to myocardial infection of the heart. My father’s heart gave out due to the chocking thick haze then. Now, my 40-day-old son voice is hoarse and barely audible due to the current haze in Miri. So pardon me if I do not share the same enthusiasm of some in accepting the haze as an expected, yearly occurrence. Believe me, if anyone, even if they are politicians, were to tell me to just smile and accept the situation, I will not hesistate to visit my fist to their face. So enough of this 'abang, adik' crap. Either go tell the 'abang' or 'adik' over there to do something about it or just bloody shut up and go retire on some golf courses.
This haze problem is with us for the last 2 decades. The government always say we will consult and offer advice to Indonesia likewise the Indonesian government will apologise and truthfully say they will solve the haze issue. It is now becoming the same routine every year. And know what? The same stupid answer from the both government mouth piece - same issue same story I dont think I will see this issue close its business. As long as profits generated companies go, the CEOs of these companies will not bow to any pressure at all. As usual the top guns will issue a pr statement that their companies are responsible and law abiding corporate enitity....then nothing is mentioned again until the next haze laughing at us in the sky...The government of the day should take lawful action on these CEOs and Board of Directors and put them in prison until such time the haze issue is solved! These people only sit in their cool offices.....
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
i am out 31
Keynote Address by Dato’ Seri Dr.Lim Keng Yaik President Parti Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia At the Anak Malaysia Convention Held at Grand Ballroom, Grand Seasons Hotel, Kuala Lumpur On 13th August 2005
Introduction
I am grateful for being invited to speak at this Anak Malaysia Convention jointly organised by Gerakan Youth, Sedar Institute and Friedrich Naumann Stiftung. I congratulate the organisers for a job well done. My warmest regards to all distinguished guests, speakers, participants and members of Parti Gerakan.
Ladies and gentlemen, this convention is timely because there is a serious need to rethink and review our nation-building project. It is only through a sincere and open review that we are able to identify and measure its success and failure, issues and challenges in order to help us achieve the desired national unity.
National unity should not be interpreted as a communitarian ideology. The discourse of national unity entrapped within the sole purpose of breeding homogeneity or conformity does not reflect a clear understanding of the social landscape of our modern society. In turn, I urge you to consider our proposition of looking at national unity using a pair of multicultural and multiracial lenses. Consequently, the dynamics that help to foster national unity are essentially diverse and different. But within this diversity, we can find a true synergy and strength which is far stronger than homogeneity. Our nation-building project is supposed to create such positive outcome of national unity. However, a sense of national unity cannot be fostered through mere rhetoric or symbolism. Singing patriotic songs is good but singing them as an act of ritual is useless and meaningless. A sense of commitment to the nation and to the society must come intrinsically from within one’s heart and soul. This is what I called a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity to the country and to the society.
Gerakan’s Proposition of Bangsa Malaysia
Today, we would like to make you a proposition to consider coming together to foster a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity. At Gerakan, we call this proposition the creation of a truly ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. For this proposition to become a reality, we believe that our youths or our ‘Anak-anak Malaysia’ play a key role. Our younger generation should be taught to appreciate and respect the country’s rich cultural diversity and that it is essential for them to work together to face multifarious challenges of global scale. These diverse cultural values are our wealth and not a liability. The foundation of a society should be built from its diverse cultural values in order to shape its shared common destiny and identity.
Moreover, I truly believe that for Malaysia and its people to come together as a nation, we need to learn to understand, accept and celebrate our pluralistic nature. Pluralism, I believe is an essentialist element of a Bangsa Malaysia. We should not deny our shared cultural heritage. Over the years, each and every community in Malaysia has absorbed and assimilated elements from other communities into their language, art, music, lifestyle, food and others.
Is Bangsa Malaysia a reality or myth? The answer lies in the decision you make today. A nation-building project is never an easy one. Many countries took centuries to build a nation and a society. A great number of these societies were broken down and torn apart by unscrupulous conflicts masked by racial or religious overtones. Hence, different actors in the society must always be mindful of their action and interaction. We ought to practice self-discipline and to observe respect for our fellow countrymen of other races or faiths.
We need to build our society or a truly Malaysian race not by getting overly obsessed with a few racial or religious conflicts but to build on our centuries of inter-ethnic relations, understanding, goodwill and cooperation.
Moving forward, I urge you to conduct a critical assessment of our nation-building project. After almost 50 years of independence, do we have a general consensus on the concept of Bangsa Malaysia? Are we ready to embrace this concept? What are the characteristics of a Bangsa Malaysia? These are several pertinent questions to get today’s discussion on the ball.
The Making of a Truly Bangsa Malaysia
In my own assessment, there are several challenges and obstacles to our nation-building project and the creation of a Bangsa Malaysia. First, the project is faced with a ‘historical burden’ which must be removed. It stemmed from a politically motivated view of interpreting our historical past. For example, the dominant historical narration of our struggles for national independence and the formulation of the social contract between the main races often take a very narrow communal slant. An often repeated reminder to the Chinese and Indian community in this country is that the government did them a great favour by granting them citizenship to stay in this country. Hence, they should be grateful and beholden to the state.
The making of statehood cannot be based on a static interpretation of history. How can we ask these communities to sacrifice and devote their energy, resources and time to help in nation-building if they are often demoralised by such statement? An objective narration and documentation of history is a dynamic process.
Our society has gone through together horrid time of the cruelty of colonialism, imperialism and other challenges. We have survived and thrived as a society. Perhaps, it is timely that the future narration of history can reflect more on our join struggles and collaborations. We cannot achieve much as a society and as a nation – with a first-world ambition – if we continue to deprive our younger generation of a true reflection of history.
Second, I find that our sense of ethnicity or religiosity is stronger than our sense of nationhood and citizenship. I am worried that this way we are promoting and expanding our existing racial and religious silos. Most of the policy debates, social discussions or societal dialogues are exclusively race or religious centric. There are not many Malaysian centric dialogues or discussions. I can only generalise that the idea of a shared common destiny and a shared common identity has not sink into the mainstream thinking yet. We still put race and religion first, and society and nation second. Thus far, our national unity efforts are polemical, ritualistic and artificial at best. Henceforth, I would be interested to listen to suggestions from our speakers on how to reverse the current mindset.
Third, we need a political paradigm shift. Our model of power sharing is not premised on a zero-sum game. I would like to urge all politicians and aspiring politicians to look inside-out instead of outside-in. We have to be externally focused and forward looking. Remember, narrow communal assertion, slogan and chest-beating will only create more racist reactions. We need to re-examine the relevance and impact of populist race-centric political approach. We need to find if this approach is detrimental to our nation-building project and national unity agenda.
Fourth, I would like to warn Malaysians of a culture of exclusivity which is breeding in our society. This culture is trying to create exclusive groups within our society. What this culture is saying is if you are not one of us, you should mind your own business. Inevitably, this culture is limiting inter-civilisation dialogue and discussion. Another trajectory from this culture is the establishment of extremist groups which promote dangerous ideology and belief. The government has taken serious actions against any form of extremism and all kinds of extremist bantering. Fortunately, Barisan Nasional leaders are mindful that we need to protect our pluralistic nature.
The most challenging task is identifying a set of shared common values which all Malaysians can embrace and adopt as a collective value system. Perhaps, this forum could make an attempt to identify some of these shared common values and norms.
Harmonise Bangsa Malaysia with the New National Agenda
Nearly 50 years since independence, evidently our nation is searching for a new agenda. Over the past few weeks, our political scene is buzzing with a new proposal to adopt and implement a “New National Agenda”. In the era of globalisation characterises by constant change, we need a new agenda or a development strategy to ensure that we are keeping up with these changes. In this regard, our nation-building project should be harmonised with this new national agenda.
To construct an inclusive and conclusive national agenda, promoters of this agenda should understand the current realities faced by the nation. The agenda must be able to withstand rigorous public scrutiny. The essential elements in the agenda must be able to address current challenges faced by the society. The agenda must also be broad enough to accommodate the aspirations of all Malaysians, and not just any particular community alone.
We cannot resurrect something old and outdated from the past and call it ‘new’. This act is similar to pouring old sour wine into a new bottle. If we are not willing to embark upon a paradigm shift, this new national agenda will be an effort in futility.
Conclusion
Gerakan is not pioneering a new movement or creating a new community of ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. We believe that intrinsically, deep down the heart of all Malaysians, they cannot find any explicit reason to reject this proposition. A journey of a thousand miles must start with a first grand step. It is time that we examine how far we have travelled and the direction we are taking after almost 50 years of independence.
Finally, I hope you will this convention meaningful and worthwhile.
Thank you.
Dato’ Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik,President, Parti Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia.
Posted by jeffooi at August 16, 2005 01:51 PM TrackBack
Comments
When I live in the US, I am a Malaysian, but when
Introduction
I am grateful for being invited to speak at this Anak Malaysia Convention jointly organised by Gerakan Youth, Sedar Institute and Friedrich Naumann Stiftung. I congratulate the organisers for a job well done. My warmest regards to all distinguished guests, speakers, participants and members of Parti Gerakan.
Ladies and gentlemen, this convention is timely because there is a serious need to rethink and review our nation-building project. It is only through a sincere and open review that we are able to identify and measure its success and failure, issues and challenges in order to help us achieve the desired national unity.
National unity should not be interpreted as a communitarian ideology. The discourse of national unity entrapped within the sole purpose of breeding homogeneity or conformity does not reflect a clear understanding of the social landscape of our modern society. In turn, I urge you to consider our proposition of looking at national unity using a pair of multicultural and multiracial lenses. Consequently, the dynamics that help to foster national unity are essentially diverse and different. But within this diversity, we can find a true synergy and strength which is far stronger than homogeneity. Our nation-building project is supposed to create such positive outcome of national unity. However, a sense of national unity cannot be fostered through mere rhetoric or symbolism. Singing patriotic songs is good but singing them as an act of ritual is useless and meaningless. A sense of commitment to the nation and to the society must come intrinsically from within one’s heart and soul. This is what I called a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity to the country and to the society.
Gerakan’s Proposition of Bangsa Malaysia
Today, we would like to make you a proposition to consider coming together to foster a sense of belonging and a sense of shared common identity. At Gerakan, we call this proposition the creation of a truly ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. For this proposition to become a reality, we believe that our youths or our ‘Anak-anak Malaysia’ play a key role. Our younger generation should be taught to appreciate and respect the country’s rich cultural diversity and that it is essential for them to work together to face multifarious challenges of global scale. These diverse cultural values are our wealth and not a liability. The foundation of a society should be built from its diverse cultural values in order to shape its shared common destiny and identity.
Moreover, I truly believe that for Malaysia and its people to come together as a nation, we need to learn to understand, accept and celebrate our pluralistic nature. Pluralism, I believe is an essentialist element of a Bangsa Malaysia. We should not deny our shared cultural heritage. Over the years, each and every community in Malaysia has absorbed and assimilated elements from other communities into their language, art, music, lifestyle, food and others.
Is Bangsa Malaysia a reality or myth? The answer lies in the decision you make today. A nation-building project is never an easy one. Many countries took centuries to build a nation and a society. A great number of these societies were broken down and torn apart by unscrupulous conflicts masked by racial or religious overtones. Hence, different actors in the society must always be mindful of their action and interaction. We ought to practice self-discipline and to observe respect for our fellow countrymen of other races or faiths.
We need to build our society or a truly Malaysian race not by getting overly obsessed with a few racial or religious conflicts but to build on our centuries of inter-ethnic relations, understanding, goodwill and cooperation.
Moving forward, I urge you to conduct a critical assessment of our nation-building project. After almost 50 years of independence, do we have a general consensus on the concept of Bangsa Malaysia? Are we ready to embrace this concept? What are the characteristics of a Bangsa Malaysia? These are several pertinent questions to get today’s discussion on the ball.
The Making of a Truly Bangsa Malaysia
In my own assessment, there are several challenges and obstacles to our nation-building project and the creation of a Bangsa Malaysia. First, the project is faced with a ‘historical burden’ which must be removed. It stemmed from a politically motivated view of interpreting our historical past. For example, the dominant historical narration of our struggles for national independence and the formulation of the social contract between the main races often take a very narrow communal slant. An often repeated reminder to the Chinese and Indian community in this country is that the government did them a great favour by granting them citizenship to stay in this country. Hence, they should be grateful and beholden to the state.
The making of statehood cannot be based on a static interpretation of history. How can we ask these communities to sacrifice and devote their energy, resources and time to help in nation-building if they are often demoralised by such statement? An objective narration and documentation of history is a dynamic process.
Our society has gone through together horrid time of the cruelty of colonialism, imperialism and other challenges. We have survived and thrived as a society. Perhaps, it is timely that the future narration of history can reflect more on our join struggles and collaborations. We cannot achieve much as a society and as a nation – with a first-world ambition – if we continue to deprive our younger generation of a true reflection of history.
Second, I find that our sense of ethnicity or religiosity is stronger than our sense of nationhood and citizenship. I am worried that this way we are promoting and expanding our existing racial and religious silos. Most of the policy debates, social discussions or societal dialogues are exclusively race or religious centric. There are not many Malaysian centric dialogues or discussions. I can only generalise that the idea of a shared common destiny and a shared common identity has not sink into the mainstream thinking yet. We still put race and religion first, and society and nation second. Thus far, our national unity efforts are polemical, ritualistic and artificial at best. Henceforth, I would be interested to listen to suggestions from our speakers on how to reverse the current mindset.
Third, we need a political paradigm shift. Our model of power sharing is not premised on a zero-sum game. I would like to urge all politicians and aspiring politicians to look inside-out instead of outside-in. We have to be externally focused and forward looking. Remember, narrow communal assertion, slogan and chest-beating will only create more racist reactions. We need to re-examine the relevance and impact of populist race-centric political approach. We need to find if this approach is detrimental to our nation-building project and national unity agenda.
Fourth, I would like to warn Malaysians of a culture of exclusivity which is breeding in our society. This culture is trying to create exclusive groups within our society. What this culture is saying is if you are not one of us, you should mind your own business. Inevitably, this culture is limiting inter-civilisation dialogue and discussion. Another trajectory from this culture is the establishment of extremist groups which promote dangerous ideology and belief. The government has taken serious actions against any form of extremism and all kinds of extremist bantering. Fortunately, Barisan Nasional leaders are mindful that we need to protect our pluralistic nature.
The most challenging task is identifying a set of shared common values which all Malaysians can embrace and adopt as a collective value system. Perhaps, this forum could make an attempt to identify some of these shared common values and norms.
Harmonise Bangsa Malaysia with the New National Agenda
Nearly 50 years since independence, evidently our nation is searching for a new agenda. Over the past few weeks, our political scene is buzzing with a new proposal to adopt and implement a “New National Agenda”. In the era of globalisation characterises by constant change, we need a new agenda or a development strategy to ensure that we are keeping up with these changes. In this regard, our nation-building project should be harmonised with this new national agenda.
To construct an inclusive and conclusive national agenda, promoters of this agenda should understand the current realities faced by the nation. The agenda must be able to withstand rigorous public scrutiny. The essential elements in the agenda must be able to address current challenges faced by the society. The agenda must also be broad enough to accommodate the aspirations of all Malaysians, and not just any particular community alone.
We cannot resurrect something old and outdated from the past and call it ‘new’. This act is similar to pouring old sour wine into a new bottle. If we are not willing to embark upon a paradigm shift, this new national agenda will be an effort in futility.
Conclusion
Gerakan is not pioneering a new movement or creating a new community of ‘Bangsa Malaysia’. We believe that intrinsically, deep down the heart of all Malaysians, they cannot find any explicit reason to reject this proposition. A journey of a thousand miles must start with a first grand step. It is time that we examine how far we have travelled and the direction we are taking after almost 50 years of independence.
Finally, I hope you will this convention meaningful and worthwhile.
Thank you.
Dato’ Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik,President, Parti Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia.
Posted by jeffooi at August 16, 2005 01:51 PM TrackBack
Comments
When I live in the US, I am a Malaysian, but when
Monday, August 15, 2005
sex education 12
Safe Sex and Diseases
Safe Sex Rules: 1. Don't have sex with a stranger. 2. Always use protection if you cannot make sure that your sexual encounter is safe. 3. Condom can reduce the chance of getting infection. 4. Always have sex with the same partner. 5. Don't have sex with some ones who have irritation or suspicious infection in the genitals, anus and mouth.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD): 1. HIV/AIDS - Death Wish! 2. Chilamydia - The commonest, frequently symptomless, STD, but treatable with antibiotics in early stage. If untreated, it can result in pelvic infection and infertility. *** Symptoms - Stinging sensation of the penile end, watery discharge, swollen testicles and painful urination for men; Yellow Vaginal Discharge, damage in the mucoid lining of the mouth, eyes, urine tract, rectum, and vagina for women. *** Infection path - Vagina and anus. 3. Genital Herpes - contagious and incurable, but controllable in outbreaking. *** Symptoms - Tangling and itching around genitals, then sores. *** Infection path - contact of infected areas. 4. Gonorrhea: an incubation period of 2-10 days; *** Symptoms - Pain on urination and vaginal discharge, but 60% women are symptomless. *** Infection path - urethra, rectum, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus. 5. Syphilis: Bateria into the body, treatable in the early stage. *** Symptoms - Skin Rash. *** Infection path - urethra, open skin, rectum, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus. 6. Hepatics B: Virus infection, curable with vaccine. *** Symptoms - Fever, headaches, muscle aches, fatigue, no appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, dark urine, abdominal pain, yellowing of the skin, and whites of eyes. *** Infection path - Exposure to infected blood, semen, vaginal secretion, and saliva 7. Human Papilloma Virus (HPV): Viral Infection, leading to penile, anal, and cervix cancers. *** Symptoms - Sometimes, no symptoms. The most common symptoms are genital warts, from small bumps to large cauliflowers; moist and itchy; warts can be in the anus and throat. it may appear anywhere from several week to several years. *** Infection path - mouth, throat, vagina, penis, and anus. If you are infected by herpes, L-Lysine (500-1000 mg) + Zinc (25-50 mg) + Vitamin C (500 - 1000 mg) + garlic (300-500 mg) a day can help suppress or mitigate its outbreaks.
source from Dr Lin
Safe Sex Rules: 1. Don't have sex with a stranger. 2. Always use protection if you cannot make sure that your sexual encounter is safe. 3. Condom can reduce the chance of getting infection. 4. Always have sex with the same partner. 5. Don't have sex with some ones who have irritation or suspicious infection in the genitals, anus and mouth.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD): 1. HIV/AIDS - Death Wish! 2. Chilamydia - The commonest, frequently symptomless, STD, but treatable with antibiotics in early stage. If untreated, it can result in pelvic infection and infertility. *** Symptoms - Stinging sensation of the penile end, watery discharge, swollen testicles and painful urination for men; Yellow Vaginal Discharge, damage in the mucoid lining of the mouth, eyes, urine tract, rectum, and vagina for women. *** Infection path - Vagina and anus. 3. Genital Herpes - contagious and incurable, but controllable in outbreaking. *** Symptoms - Tangling and itching around genitals, then sores. *** Infection path - contact of infected areas. 4. Gonorrhea: an incubation period of 2-10 days; *** Symptoms - Pain on urination and vaginal discharge, but 60% women are symptomless. *** Infection path - urethra, rectum, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus. 5. Syphilis: Bateria into the body, treatable in the early stage. *** Symptoms - Skin Rash. *** Infection path - urethra, open skin, rectum, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus. 6. Hepatics B: Virus infection, curable with vaccine. *** Symptoms - Fever, headaches, muscle aches, fatigue, no appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, dark urine, abdominal pain, yellowing of the skin, and whites of eyes. *** Infection path - Exposure to infected blood, semen, vaginal secretion, and saliva 7. Human Papilloma Virus (HPV): Viral Infection, leading to penile, anal, and cervix cancers. *** Symptoms - Sometimes, no symptoms. The most common symptoms are genital warts, from small bumps to large cauliflowers; moist and itchy; warts can be in the anus and throat. it may appear anywhere from several week to several years. *** Infection path - mouth, throat, vagina, penis, and anus. If you are infected by herpes, L-Lysine (500-1000 mg) + Zinc (25-50 mg) + Vitamin C (500 - 1000 mg) + garlic (300-500 mg) a day can help suppress or mitigate its outbreaks.
source from Dr Lin
Sunday, August 14, 2005
sex education 11
Erectile Dysfunction, Viagra, and God's WillMay 20, 2005
Even those of us who are godly and walk in the way of the Lord may find ourselves from time to time beset by afflictions and setbacks – problems such as erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue for Christian men, as it interferes with performing the duties of a good husband in the marriage bed and can therefore affect one’s ability to be fruitful and multiply, as the Lord has commanded us. Our Heavenly Father has promised us “I will make you as firm as a rock, as hard as a diamond,” (Ezekiel 3:9) but what happens when our own flesh fails us? It can test a believer’s faith, both in himself and in God. What is a good Christian to do, and is Viagra an option?
Erectile dysfunction is not a new phenomenon. It has always plagued mankind. Even in biblical times, difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection troubled many: ”An evil disease cleaveth fast unto him; And now that he lieth he shall rise up no more.” (Psalms 41:8) In the Old Testament, impotence was sometimes a sign of the wrath of God on the wicked or His enemies: ”Yes, I will take you, breathing on you the fire of my wrath, and you will become soft in it.” (Ezekiel 22:21)
A Strong Erection is a Gift from God
Throughout the Bible, having a hard and lasting erection is frequently equated with righteousness and Godliness. Potency and procreative ability and prowess are often equated with God’s blessings: “His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.” (Psalms 112:2) In the Old Testament, David was one of God’s most favored servants, and here the Lord declares how he has blessed him with a firm manhood: “For thy steadfast love was established forever, thy faithfulness is firm as the heavens. I pledged my word to my servant, David, saying, Everyone descending from you is guaranteed life; I'll make your rule as solid and lasting as rock.” (Psalms 89:2-4) As we can see, an erection is not only a gift from God, but also a means of glorifying Him. Later in the same Psalm, the Lord explains how David’s erection is actually praising Him: “My faithfulness and my steadfast love shall be with him, and in my name shall his horn be exalted.” (Psalms 89:24)
Of course, strong and long-lasting erections are a gift in other ways, as they improve lovemaking for both husband and wife. We have discussed God’s gift of oral sex elsewhere, but here is another scriptural example of how the blessing of a God-given, solid erection comes together with the blessing of oral lovemaking: “Because thy steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise thee...my mouth praises thee with joyful lips, when I think of thee upon my bed.” (Psalms 63:3 – 6)
The ability to maintain an erection and to have longevity during lovemaking are qualities that the Bible highlights as important, especially for older men. “Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance.” (Titus 2:2) The Bible is full of stories of older men who fathered generations of children well into their old age. The most well-know is Abraham, who fathered Isaac at age 100: “And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be [a mother] of nations; kings of people shall be of her. Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a child] be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?”(Genesis 16:16-17) The book of Genesis, Chapter 5, also relates a long list of men who continued to have active sex lives and fathered children at advance ages, including Adam, at 130 years; Seth, at 105 years ; Enos, at 90 years; Cainan, at 70 years; Mahalaleel, at 65 years; Jared, at 162 years; Enoch, at 65 years Methuselah, at 187 years; Lamech, at 182 years; and Noah, at 500. It’s hard to imagine that in such advanced years, they didn’t have a little divine help.
Is it OK to take Viagra?
If erections are a gift from the Lord, this naturally raises the question, Is it OK for Christians to take Viagra? Is taking Viagra a sign of a lack of faith? Given the scriptural mandate for males to perform sexually, and given that it is the Lord’s will that we be firm, upright, long-lasting, and steadfast, we believe that taking Viagra is an acceptable solution for Christians facing the challenge of impotence. Viagra is like any other medication that we take to relieve medical symptoms. It’s not a sign of a lack of faith to take an aspirin for a headache, or to take blood pressure medication, or insulin for diabetes. The Scriptures acknowledge the problem of erectile dysfunction as well as some of the compensations we have for it: “Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions” (Ecclesiastes 7:29)…inventions such as penis pumps, penis extensions, erection-enhancing lotions, and cock rings. However, unlike these “inventions,” Viagra and similar drugs work with your body to enhance your own natural erectile ability.
Of course, as with any physical or spiritual ill, we would first want to consult the Lord in prayer and seek his wisdom and guidance, and ask for healing. But even for the faithful, there should be no spiritual contradiction in also seeking the advice of a family physician or other medical professional, who may prescribe Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.
Although dealing with erectile dysfunction can be stressful and even bring on an emotional and spiritual crisis for some men, we must be careful not to blame ourselves or the Lord for our predicament. As it says in the Gospel, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). The Lord understands that sometimes we need a little help to do His will. In this earthly plane, our bodies are often faulty, but we can take comfort in the God’s promise of vitality and potency everlasting on the day of judgment: “He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be faultless on the Day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1st Corinthians 1:8)
Even those of us who are godly and walk in the way of the Lord may find ourselves from time to time beset by afflictions and setbacks – problems such as erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue for Christian men, as it interferes with performing the duties of a good husband in the marriage bed and can therefore affect one’s ability to be fruitful and multiply, as the Lord has commanded us. Our Heavenly Father has promised us “I will make you as firm as a rock, as hard as a diamond,” (Ezekiel 3:9) but what happens when our own flesh fails us? It can test a believer’s faith, both in himself and in God. What is a good Christian to do, and is Viagra an option?
Erectile dysfunction is not a new phenomenon. It has always plagued mankind. Even in biblical times, difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection troubled many: ”An evil disease cleaveth fast unto him; And now that he lieth he shall rise up no more.” (Psalms 41:8) In the Old Testament, impotence was sometimes a sign of the wrath of God on the wicked or His enemies: ”Yes, I will take you, breathing on you the fire of my wrath, and you will become soft in it.” (Ezekiel 22:21)
A Strong Erection is a Gift from God
Throughout the Bible, having a hard and lasting erection is frequently equated with righteousness and Godliness. Potency and procreative ability and prowess are often equated with God’s blessings: “His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.” (Psalms 112:2) In the Old Testament, David was one of God’s most favored servants, and here the Lord declares how he has blessed him with a firm manhood: “For thy steadfast love was established forever, thy faithfulness is firm as the heavens. I pledged my word to my servant, David, saying, Everyone descending from you is guaranteed life; I'll make your rule as solid and lasting as rock.” (Psalms 89:2-4) As we can see, an erection is not only a gift from God, but also a means of glorifying Him. Later in the same Psalm, the Lord explains how David’s erection is actually praising Him: “My faithfulness and my steadfast love shall be with him, and in my name shall his horn be exalted.” (Psalms 89:24)
Of course, strong and long-lasting erections are a gift in other ways, as they improve lovemaking for both husband and wife. We have discussed God’s gift of oral sex elsewhere, but here is another scriptural example of how the blessing of a God-given, solid erection comes together with the blessing of oral lovemaking: “Because thy steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise thee...my mouth praises thee with joyful lips, when I think of thee upon my bed.” (Psalms 63:3 – 6)
The ability to maintain an erection and to have longevity during lovemaking are qualities that the Bible highlights as important, especially for older men. “Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance.” (Titus 2:2) The Bible is full of stories of older men who fathered generations of children well into their old age. The most well-know is Abraham, who fathered Isaac at age 100: “And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be [a mother] of nations; kings of people shall be of her. Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall [a child] be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?”(Genesis 16:16-17) The book of Genesis, Chapter 5, also relates a long list of men who continued to have active sex lives and fathered children at advance ages, including Adam, at 130 years; Seth, at 105 years ; Enos, at 90 years; Cainan, at 70 years; Mahalaleel, at 65 years; Jared, at 162 years; Enoch, at 65 years Methuselah, at 187 years; Lamech, at 182 years; and Noah, at 500. It’s hard to imagine that in such advanced years, they didn’t have a little divine help.
Is it OK to take Viagra?
If erections are a gift from the Lord, this naturally raises the question, Is it OK for Christians to take Viagra? Is taking Viagra a sign of a lack of faith? Given the scriptural mandate for males to perform sexually, and given that it is the Lord’s will that we be firm, upright, long-lasting, and steadfast, we believe that taking Viagra is an acceptable solution for Christians facing the challenge of impotence. Viagra is like any other medication that we take to relieve medical symptoms. It’s not a sign of a lack of faith to take an aspirin for a headache, or to take blood pressure medication, or insulin for diabetes. The Scriptures acknowledge the problem of erectile dysfunction as well as some of the compensations we have for it: “Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions” (Ecclesiastes 7:29)…inventions such as penis pumps, penis extensions, erection-enhancing lotions, and cock rings. However, unlike these “inventions,” Viagra and similar drugs work with your body to enhance your own natural erectile ability.
Of course, as with any physical or spiritual ill, we would first want to consult the Lord in prayer and seek his wisdom and guidance, and ask for healing. But even for the faithful, there should be no spiritual contradiction in also seeking the advice of a family physician or other medical professional, who may prescribe Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.
Although dealing with erectile dysfunction can be stressful and even bring on an emotional and spiritual crisis for some men, we must be careful not to blame ourselves or the Lord for our predicament. As it says in the Gospel, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). The Lord understands that sometimes we need a little help to do His will. In this earthly plane, our bodies are often faulty, but we can take comfort in the God’s promise of vitality and potency everlasting on the day of judgment: “He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be faultless on the Day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1st Corinthians 1:8)
sex education 10
Why can't the man swallow his own seed if the woman does not want to? It would not be homosexual because it is his own, and it would not spill. How can I partake of the spiritual replenishment of the living water without being homosexual?
There is nothing in the Scriptures that prohibits a man from swallowing his own semen if he so chooses. In fact, this is an ideal solution for avoiding the sin of “spilling seed” if the female partner is not willing to swallow, or if the man is masturbating alone. As you point out, there is nothing homosexual about swallowing your own semen because it does not involve having sex with another man. However, if you do choose to swallow your own ejaculate, be careful not to get any on yourself or your clothes. The same requirements regarding semen and cleanliness still apply (Leviticus 15:16-17).
My boyfriend and I drink each other's semen. We don’t have oral sex because we believe it is forbidden by the scripture. We believe that it is the way God intended us to be - just like David and Jonathan.
You cite the Biblical story of David and Jonathan, which describes a close spiritual relationship between two men - ”the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:1) Jonathan and David loved each other deeply, and even wore the same clothes (“And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. [1 Samuel 18:1]). However, the Bible doesn’t say anything about them having sex or swallowing each other’s semen. You and your friend would be better off each drinking your own semen, as described above. If you want to do it together, that’s probably OK, as long as you don’t touch each other.
This is complete blasphemy. You must take this down. To suggest that the Lord Jesus Christ propositioned a woman for a blowjob is preposterous. You are sinning against God by twisting the words of His son. You need to take this down, for your own good.
We did not mean to suggest that Jesus was propositioning the woman at the well or asked her to give him a blowjob. Of course not! Jesus would never do that. In fact, he refuses to give her the “living water” himself. When she asks him to give her the living water (semen), Christ tells the woman to get her husband. This is so he (Christ) could instruct her on how to give a blowjob to her husband and receive the living water from her husband. Thank you for your concern, and we hope this clarifies matters.
You f*****g idiots. If you did any research at all, you'd understand the true meaning of the texts you cite. Christ's "living water" was not referring to semen, you f*****g a**holes. He was referring to spiritual enlightenment. When one learns how to learn, there are no limits to your future knowledge. That’s what he meant, f*****g idiots. He fetched the husband so he can learn and hear what he has to say, not have him stand by and watch his woman giving a blowjob. Read the texts before it and you'll understand how the conversation started. It has nothing to do with sex.
We agree that Christ was referring to spiritual enlightenment in the passages describing his interaction with the woman of Samaria at the well. He was talking about spiritual enlightenment as symbolized by the “living water,” or semen. At the Last Supper, when Christ broke bread with his disciples, he said, “Take, eat; this is my body,” and he poured wine for them and said, “This is my blood.” (1 Cor 12: 23-30) This is the symbolic ritual that we reenact when we partake in the Holy Communion. Obviously, Jesus wasn’t suggesting that his disciples cannibalize him. And in this case, he wasn’t suggesting that the woman give him a blowjob (that’s not what we were suggesting to begin with; we said he was going to have her give her husband a blowjob).
When a woman performs oral sex on her partner, she is symbolically enacting drinking the living water of Christ. It’s a spiritually symbolic act. Christ said, ”If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37-38) Of course, Jesus is talking metaphorically about living water in this case; if a man literally drank the living water of Christ, that would make him gay. But by accepting Jesus as his savior, a man then metaphorically partakes in the living water of Christ and then has his own source of living water that flows from his belly (we think they probably meant loins, but “belly” is close enough). It could be argued that women also have this source of living water – their vaginal juices. So every time a woman practices oral sex on a man, or vice versa, they are symbolically enacting drinking the living water of Christ.
There’s no reason spiritual enlightenment and sexual expression have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, they are both so much more powerful when you put them together. We’re sorry this issue has caused you to become so upset to the point of using obscene language. We will be praying for you to find peace.
I've never read in my Bible where adultery is okay with a spouse's permission. This is disgusting. I would like to see you back up God permitting this with scripture. My Bible talks about relations between a man and man AND woman and woman being WRONG, and that there is unity between ONE man AND ONE wife.
The Bible is clear when it tells us “Do not commit adultery.” However, what is at issue here is the definition of adultery. In Biblical times, wives were considered the property of their husbands, and the crime (or sin) of adultery was basically defined by one man violating another man’s property rights by using (having sex with) that man’s property (his wife). The wife was also often considered culpable, because in having sex with another man, she was defying her husband. As we see in Numbers 5:12-14, a woman could be tried for adultery without even committing the act, simply if her husband became jealous because he suspected her of cheating on him.
This is why Old Testament kings could have hundreds of wives and concubines without being “adulterers” – although they were married, and had sex with many women, they weren’t committing adultery because none of those women were married to other men. On the other hand, if one of King David’s hundreds of wives, for example, had a fling with a stable hand, they could have both been put to death.
In these more enlightened times, we no longer consider wives to be property, so this definition of adultery is obsolete. Although the male is still considered the leader within the marriage and the family, the husband and wife are more or less equal partners. They must respect each other, and anything that undermines this respect and trust undermines the marriage. However, if they are open and honest about their relationships with others, and if there is no jealousy or distrust created between them, then there is no cause for blame or guilt.
We have a close friend next door who has been widowed for a number of years and doesn't wish to remarry. Yet, at 61, we can see that physically she is lonely and longing for lost intimacy. Could we invite her into our bed? We are all the same age and so reproduction isn't an issue.
This is a perfect example of a couple being called to share the divine love of their relationship with another in the spirit of Christian charity. This situation would seem to fit all of the criteria that we outlined for a Christian threesome. Since your friend is widowed, adultery is not a problem from that perspective. If your wife is open to this arrangement, there is no reason for you not to open up your bed, and your hearts to this woman, sharing your love for each other and for the Lord.
Source sex in christ
It is called test of one religion? In other words if one wants to share in the religious spirit with the concurrance of his/her spouse with another in the open, then there is no sin involved? Sin is even if one thinks of another in sex one has committed it. So how do one go about it? As I understand God builds valves for sexual release otherwise how could one sustains the sex within So it is the thin line whether one is doing for charity one's religion or lust....
There is nothing in the Scriptures that prohibits a man from swallowing his own semen if he so chooses. In fact, this is an ideal solution for avoiding the sin of “spilling seed” if the female partner is not willing to swallow, or if the man is masturbating alone. As you point out, there is nothing homosexual about swallowing your own semen because it does not involve having sex with another man. However, if you do choose to swallow your own ejaculate, be careful not to get any on yourself or your clothes. The same requirements regarding semen and cleanliness still apply (Leviticus 15:16-17).
My boyfriend and I drink each other's semen. We don’t have oral sex because we believe it is forbidden by the scripture. We believe that it is the way God intended us to be - just like David and Jonathan.
You cite the Biblical story of David and Jonathan, which describes a close spiritual relationship between two men - ”the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:1) Jonathan and David loved each other deeply, and even wore the same clothes (“And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. [1 Samuel 18:1]). However, the Bible doesn’t say anything about them having sex or swallowing each other’s semen. You and your friend would be better off each drinking your own semen, as described above. If you want to do it together, that’s probably OK, as long as you don’t touch each other.
This is complete blasphemy. You must take this down. To suggest that the Lord Jesus Christ propositioned a woman for a blowjob is preposterous. You are sinning against God by twisting the words of His son. You need to take this down, for your own good.
We did not mean to suggest that Jesus was propositioning the woman at the well or asked her to give him a blowjob. Of course not! Jesus would never do that. In fact, he refuses to give her the “living water” himself. When she asks him to give her the living water (semen), Christ tells the woman to get her husband. This is so he (Christ) could instruct her on how to give a blowjob to her husband and receive the living water from her husband. Thank you for your concern, and we hope this clarifies matters.
You f*****g idiots. If you did any research at all, you'd understand the true meaning of the texts you cite. Christ's "living water" was not referring to semen, you f*****g a**holes. He was referring to spiritual enlightenment. When one learns how to learn, there are no limits to your future knowledge. That’s what he meant, f*****g idiots. He fetched the husband so he can learn and hear what he has to say, not have him stand by and watch his woman giving a blowjob. Read the texts before it and you'll understand how the conversation started. It has nothing to do with sex.
We agree that Christ was referring to spiritual enlightenment in the passages describing his interaction with the woman of Samaria at the well. He was talking about spiritual enlightenment as symbolized by the “living water,” or semen. At the Last Supper, when Christ broke bread with his disciples, he said, “Take, eat; this is my body,” and he poured wine for them and said, “This is my blood.” (1 Cor 12: 23-30) This is the symbolic ritual that we reenact when we partake in the Holy Communion. Obviously, Jesus wasn’t suggesting that his disciples cannibalize him. And in this case, he wasn’t suggesting that the woman give him a blowjob (that’s not what we were suggesting to begin with; we said he was going to have her give her husband a blowjob).
When a woman performs oral sex on her partner, she is symbolically enacting drinking the living water of Christ. It’s a spiritually symbolic act. Christ said, ”If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37-38) Of course, Jesus is talking metaphorically about living water in this case; if a man literally drank the living water of Christ, that would make him gay. But by accepting Jesus as his savior, a man then metaphorically partakes in the living water of Christ and then has his own source of living water that flows from his belly (we think they probably meant loins, but “belly” is close enough). It could be argued that women also have this source of living water – their vaginal juices. So every time a woman practices oral sex on a man, or vice versa, they are symbolically enacting drinking the living water of Christ.
There’s no reason spiritual enlightenment and sexual expression have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, they are both so much more powerful when you put them together. We’re sorry this issue has caused you to become so upset to the point of using obscene language. We will be praying for you to find peace.
I've never read in my Bible where adultery is okay with a spouse's permission. This is disgusting. I would like to see you back up God permitting this with scripture. My Bible talks about relations between a man and man AND woman and woman being WRONG, and that there is unity between ONE man AND ONE wife.
The Bible is clear when it tells us “Do not commit adultery.” However, what is at issue here is the definition of adultery. In Biblical times, wives were considered the property of their husbands, and the crime (or sin) of adultery was basically defined by one man violating another man’s property rights by using (having sex with) that man’s property (his wife). The wife was also often considered culpable, because in having sex with another man, she was defying her husband. As we see in Numbers 5:12-14, a woman could be tried for adultery without even committing the act, simply if her husband became jealous because he suspected her of cheating on him.
This is why Old Testament kings could have hundreds of wives and concubines without being “adulterers” – although they were married, and had sex with many women, they weren’t committing adultery because none of those women were married to other men. On the other hand, if one of King David’s hundreds of wives, for example, had a fling with a stable hand, they could have both been put to death.
In these more enlightened times, we no longer consider wives to be property, so this definition of adultery is obsolete. Although the male is still considered the leader within the marriage and the family, the husband and wife are more or less equal partners. They must respect each other, and anything that undermines this respect and trust undermines the marriage. However, if they are open and honest about their relationships with others, and if there is no jealousy or distrust created between them, then there is no cause for blame or guilt.
We have a close friend next door who has been widowed for a number of years and doesn't wish to remarry. Yet, at 61, we can see that physically she is lonely and longing for lost intimacy. Could we invite her into our bed? We are all the same age and so reproduction isn't an issue.
This is a perfect example of a couple being called to share the divine love of their relationship with another in the spirit of Christian charity. This situation would seem to fit all of the criteria that we outlined for a Christian threesome. Since your friend is widowed, adultery is not a problem from that perspective. If your wife is open to this arrangement, there is no reason for you not to open up your bed, and your hearts to this woman, sharing your love for each other and for the Lord.
Source sex in christ
It is called test of one religion? In other words if one wants to share in the religious spirit with the concurrance of his/her spouse with another in the open, then there is no sin involved? Sin is even if one thinks of another in sex one has committed it. So how do one go about it? As I understand God builds valves for sexual release otherwise how could one sustains the sex within So it is the thin line whether one is doing for charity one's religion or lust....
Friday, August 12, 2005
sex education 9
These are the views through the holy scriptures about fornication
Fornication
Hebrew: zanah / Greek: porneia
Fornication is voluntary sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married to each other. Adultery is one type of fornication.
In every form, fornication was sternly condemned by the Mosaic law among God's people, the Israelites (Lev. 21:9; 19:29; Deut. 22:20-11, 23-29; 23:18; Ex. 22:16). (See ADULTERY.)
Fornication is also mentioned many times in the New Testament (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; John 8:41; Acts 15:20, 29; 21:25; Rom. 1:29; 1 Cor 5:1, 6:13, 18, 7:2; 10:8; 2 Cor 12:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Jude 1:7; Rev. 2:14, 20-21; 9:21; 14:8; 17:2,4).
"The Greek word for 'fornication' (porneia) could include any sexual sin committed after the betrothal contract. ...In Biblical usage, 'fornication' can mean any sexual congress outside monogamous marriage. It thus includes not only premarital sex, but also adultery, homosexual acts, incest, remarriage after un-Biblical divorce, and sexual acts with animals, all of which are explicitly forbidden in the law as given through Moses (Leviticus 20:10-21). Christ expanded the prohibition against adultery to include even sexual lusting (Matthew 5:28)." (Dr. Henry M. Morris)
The word "fornication" is sometimes used in a symbolic sense in the Bible, for example, meaning a forsaking of God or a following after idols (Isa. 1:2; Jer. 2:20; Ezek. 16; Hos. 1:2; 2:1-5; Jer. 3:8-9).
Fornication
Hebrew: zanah / Greek: porneia
Fornication is voluntary sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married to each other. Adultery is one type of fornication.
In every form, fornication was sternly condemned by the Mosaic law among God's people, the Israelites (Lev. 21:9; 19:29; Deut. 22:20-11, 23-29; 23:18; Ex. 22:16). (See ADULTERY.)
Fornication is also mentioned many times in the New Testament (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; John 8:41; Acts 15:20, 29; 21:25; Rom. 1:29; 1 Cor 5:1, 6:13, 18, 7:2; 10:8; 2 Cor 12:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Jude 1:7; Rev. 2:14, 20-21; 9:21; 14:8; 17:2,4).
"The Greek word for 'fornication' (porneia) could include any sexual sin committed after the betrothal contract. ...In Biblical usage, 'fornication' can mean any sexual congress outside monogamous marriage. It thus includes not only premarital sex, but also adultery, homosexual acts, incest, remarriage after un-Biblical divorce, and sexual acts with animals, all of which are explicitly forbidden in the law as given through Moses (Leviticus 20:10-21). Christ expanded the prohibition against adultery to include even sexual lusting (Matthew 5:28)." (Dr. Henry M. Morris)
The word "fornication" is sometimes used in a symbolic sense in the Bible, for example, meaning a forsaking of God or a following after idols (Isa. 1:2; Jer. 2:20; Ezek. 16; Hos. 1:2; 2:1-5; Jer. 3:8-9).
i am out 30
Corruption the chosen system in MalaysiaDr JohnAug 12, 05 1:03pm
I am an overseas national married to a Malaysian for many years. I have been visiting Malaysia regularly for 35 years and it is almost like a second home. In spite of that, however, I read Dr M Musa Bakri's piece about Umno and corruption with a certain amusement. I guess that none of it comes as a surprise. What interests me is the degree of corruption that one country can absorb without seriously undermining its political and economic status. Much depends upon whether the money is spent internally or sequestered into Swiss bank accounts. If the money is mostly spent at home, that has no more effect on the economy than the spending of people who come by their money legitimately. It seems to me that the internal economy in Malaysia is in great part supported by corruption. This goes not just for Umno but the whole of the civil service and the police. And the paying of bribes means that the administration can run cut-price government. So the people have to decide if they would rather pay bribes or pay higher taxes. I think that in Malaysia they would much rather pay bribes. So that will be their chosen ‘system’ of informal taxation for the foreseeable future. What this does politically is interesting. If the people who take bribes are a small oligarchy in government, then there could be a lot of protest and even civil unrest. The government could topple. But if bribes are essential for the income of over 50 percent of the working population then who is going to protest? I think that for better or for worse. Malaysia has woven corruption so deeply into the day-to-day lives of the whole population that it has become the essential ‘lubricant’ for government as well as business. To eradicate it now would bring the country to its knees. As I see it, any radical attempt to end corruption would quickly run into strong resistence from most ordinary people. They may object in principle, but the next time they need a licence or a permit or whatever, they will pay the ‘coffee money’. They have neither the patience nor the inclination to get it the ‘hard’ way.
How true! If you want to get approval fast, go to the office boy or office assistant. This was the advice given to me. Somehow it makes sense. The office assistant can go to see the bosses in the department any time. NOthing to make an appointment. He just pops in his head and says 'Hi Boss! Can you help me?' Or mostly he just hands him the papers need to sign...
I am an overseas national married to a Malaysian for many years. I have been visiting Malaysia regularly for 35 years and it is almost like a second home. In spite of that, however, I read Dr M Musa Bakri's piece about Umno and corruption with a certain amusement. I guess that none of it comes as a surprise. What interests me is the degree of corruption that one country can absorb without seriously undermining its political and economic status. Much depends upon whether the money is spent internally or sequestered into Swiss bank accounts. If the money is mostly spent at home, that has no more effect on the economy than the spending of people who come by their money legitimately. It seems to me that the internal economy in Malaysia is in great part supported by corruption. This goes not just for Umno but the whole of the civil service and the police. And the paying of bribes means that the administration can run cut-price government. So the people have to decide if they would rather pay bribes or pay higher taxes. I think that in Malaysia they would much rather pay bribes. So that will be their chosen ‘system’ of informal taxation for the foreseeable future. What this does politically is interesting. If the people who take bribes are a small oligarchy in government, then there could be a lot of protest and even civil unrest. The government could topple. But if bribes are essential for the income of over 50 percent of the working population then who is going to protest? I think that for better or for worse. Malaysia has woven corruption so deeply into the day-to-day lives of the whole population that it has become the essential ‘lubricant’ for government as well as business. To eradicate it now would bring the country to its knees. As I see it, any radical attempt to end corruption would quickly run into strong resistence from most ordinary people. They may object in principle, but the next time they need a licence or a permit or whatever, they will pay the ‘coffee money’. They have neither the patience nor the inclination to get it the ‘hard’ way.
How true! If you want to get approval fast, go to the office boy or office assistant. This was the advice given to me. Somehow it makes sense. The office assistant can go to see the bosses in the department any time. NOthing to make an appointment. He just pops in his head and says 'Hi Boss! Can you help me?' Or mostly he just hands him the papers need to sign...
other crazy thoughts 13
I have posted 3 articles scout from the web under sex education. On the surface it has been practised many thousands of years right through this century. Yet amongst the religious people it is still sinful to commit these acts - oral sex, masturbation and anal sex. How do these religious people interpret it according to the scriptures or their own personal opinion. Can a man and a woman forget about sex in his/her life? God surely creates an avenue to release their sexual urges in their bodies before they commit the ultimate sin in illegal fornication...Perhaps what had been quoted in these 3 articles could carry some thought for those who want to really know. Even think about it....water pipes too have release valves to release pressure on the pipes, cars too have water coolent to cushion heat generated in the cars engines through the radiators, so I believe there are some truths highlighted in the articles.
The last book from God through Muhammad condemns anal sex. It is worst than burning in hell. So which one to accept as correct interpretations of the holy scriptures? Forget it? Dont do it? Never think about it? Basically human beings are creative creatures. They will go and experiment and then they will tell what is good and bad about it. Havent we learned it in school? Experiments make the road perfect to travel...mistakes make rectify it, launch it again and see it through..and if successful encourages all to learn and practise it...
One thing I know personally dont get blind in the scriptures! It never tells you the straight way; it gives you many interpretations of each segment or parables because as I said human beings are very creative creatures.....
The last book from God through Muhammad condemns anal sex. It is worst than burning in hell. So which one to accept as correct interpretations of the holy scriptures? Forget it? Dont do it? Never think about it? Basically human beings are creative creatures. They will go and experiment and then they will tell what is good and bad about it. Havent we learned it in school? Experiments make the road perfect to travel...mistakes make rectify it, launch it again and see it through..and if successful encourages all to learn and practise it...
One thing I know personally dont get blind in the scriptures! It never tells you the straight way; it gives you many interpretations of each segment or parables because as I said human beings are very creative creatures.....
Thursday, August 11, 2005
sex education 8
The subject of masturbation is the cause of much concern and confusion among Christians. Most of us are taught that masturbation is sinful or wrong, and many believe that the Bible actually forbids masturbation. The latter is simply untrue; masturbation is not even mentioned in the Bible. And when we consider the facts, it becomes clear that masturbation is not a sin, but rather a blessing from God that enables us to fully enjoy our bodies and can help us lead a more healthy spiritual life.
Masturbating for the Glory of GodSome people say that they feel guilty, shameful, or dirty after they masturbate, and so they conclude that masturbation must be a sin. This is just because most of us have been taught, often by misguided religious authorities, that our bodies are bad and anything relating to physical pleasure is sinful. This is simply not true, and this is not what God intended for us. God created our bodies, along with our capacity for sexual pleasure and orgasm. Masturbation is just a normal release of sexual energy, and if used properly, it can help keep us healthy physically and spiritually.
The Scripture tells us that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and that everything that we do should glorify the Lord. While masturbation is not a sin, we must be careful to masturbate in a way that is respectful to our bodies, and respectful to God. Masturbation is a gift that we should not abuse. This means we should not masturbate to excess, or to the point where we injure ourselves. If you are masturbating until you are exhausted, or until your genitals are raw or bleeding, this is excessive, harmful, and not what God intended. If you masturbate compulsively to the point that it interferes with your work or your relationships with friends, family, and God, this is a problem. If you masturbate while indulging in impure thoughts (fantasizing about your neighbor’s wife, for example), this is also a misuse of God’s gift. Of course, this is not to say that masturbation in itself is wrong – simply that we must use masturbation in a way that is healthy and responsible.
Masturbation: God’s Gift to UsMost discussions of masturbation don’t even touch on the multitude of ways that masturbating can contribute to our physical, emotional, and moral health. Here are just a few of the many ways that masturbation is beneficial:
It prevents sexually transmitted diseases. Masturbation is the safest form of safe sex. You can’t catch or spread any STDs when you masturbate.
It prevents unwanted pregnancies. By masturbating instead of having intercourse, couples – both married and unmarried – can avoid the dilemma of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. If birth control is not available, masturbation is a wise alternative to unprotected sex.
It’s an alternative to premarital sex. Masturbation provides an alternative to intercourse before marriage. It allows both partners to keep their virginity intact for their wedding night.
It’s an alternative to sinful behavior such as adultery. If a man or woman is tempted to indulge in adulterous sex, for example, masturbating is a much better alternative to committing a sin.
It provides gratification if sex is unfulfilling. Many women do not experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, and some people are just unable to climax with a partner. In these cases, masturbation allows the experience of sexual fulfillment.
It allows us to reap the health benefits of sexual release. Medical research shows that having regular orgasms can contribute to overall health in many ways. Having an orgasm releases physical tension and emotional stress, releases endorphins, and improves circulation. Studies also show that having regular ejaculations decreases the risk of prostate cancer in men. Masturbation allows us to enjoy these benefits whether or not we have a sexual partner.
It enables us to enjoy our bodies and God’s gift of sexual pleasure. Most importantly, masturbation is a way for us to enjoy and celebrate our God-given sexuality. Sexual pleasure and orgasm are blessings from the Lord, and masturbation is one way we can experience them. Our bodies and our sexual organs were made to feel good; if we deny ourselves pleasure, we are refusing one of God’s gifts.
What About Onan?Many people are under the impression that the Bible specifically forbids masturbation. In reality, the Bible does not even mention masturbation. The story of Onan (Genesis 38:7-10) is always cited as an example of how God will punish masturbators; this is where we get the term “Onanism,” which refers to masturbation. However, the story of Onan has absolutely nothing to do with masturbating. After his brother died, Onan was commanded by God to impregnate his brother’s wife. Onan had sex with her, but defied God by pulling out before he ejaculated so she wouldn’t get pregnant. His seed spilled on the ground – due to coitus interruptus, not masturbation – but this detail became equated with masturbation by those who apparently had their own agenda.
There are other passages in the Old Testament (Leviticus 15: 15-32, Leviticus 22:4, Deuteronomy 23:9-11) that refer to “emissions of semen” and what is necessary to purify one’s self after an ejaculation, or if you get semen on yourself or your clothing. There is no mention about how the emission occurs, although it would seem like masturbation could definitely be a possibility. However, it’s important to note that these passages say nothing about masturbation being sinful – simply that you must ritually cleanse yourself after ejaculating. So keep some tissues, paper towels, or wet wipes handy when you masturbate.
Thank God for the Blessing of MasturbationGod made our bodies, so if we think our bodies are dirty and shameful, we are shunning God’s divine creation. And if we masturbate with shame and feelings of sinfulness, we are besmirching God’s blessing. Instead, we should celebrate our bodies and our sexual nature, and rejoice in the pleasure and satisfaction that they can bring us through masturbation. God’s birthright to us is joy, happiness, and health, and there are few moments more joyous than the moment of orgasm. Therefore, every time we masturbate, we should say a prayer of gratitude, thanking the Lord for our bodies, for sexual pleasure, and for masturbation as a means of experiencing the bliss of orgasm. Remember also the many ways that masturbation helps keep us physically and spiritually healthy. Masturbation is truly a gift from God, and one that we should use with respect and righteousness to glorify Him.
Masturbating for the Glory of GodSome people say that they feel guilty, shameful, or dirty after they masturbate, and so they conclude that masturbation must be a sin. This is just because most of us have been taught, often by misguided religious authorities, that our bodies are bad and anything relating to physical pleasure is sinful. This is simply not true, and this is not what God intended for us. God created our bodies, along with our capacity for sexual pleasure and orgasm. Masturbation is just a normal release of sexual energy, and if used properly, it can help keep us healthy physically and spiritually.
The Scripture tells us that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and that everything that we do should glorify the Lord. While masturbation is not a sin, we must be careful to masturbate in a way that is respectful to our bodies, and respectful to God. Masturbation is a gift that we should not abuse. This means we should not masturbate to excess, or to the point where we injure ourselves. If you are masturbating until you are exhausted, or until your genitals are raw or bleeding, this is excessive, harmful, and not what God intended. If you masturbate compulsively to the point that it interferes with your work or your relationships with friends, family, and God, this is a problem. If you masturbate while indulging in impure thoughts (fantasizing about your neighbor’s wife, for example), this is also a misuse of God’s gift. Of course, this is not to say that masturbation in itself is wrong – simply that we must use masturbation in a way that is healthy and responsible.
Masturbation: God’s Gift to UsMost discussions of masturbation don’t even touch on the multitude of ways that masturbating can contribute to our physical, emotional, and moral health. Here are just a few of the many ways that masturbation is beneficial:
It prevents sexually transmitted diseases. Masturbation is the safest form of safe sex. You can’t catch or spread any STDs when you masturbate.
It prevents unwanted pregnancies. By masturbating instead of having intercourse, couples – both married and unmarried – can avoid the dilemma of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. If birth control is not available, masturbation is a wise alternative to unprotected sex.
It’s an alternative to premarital sex. Masturbation provides an alternative to intercourse before marriage. It allows both partners to keep their virginity intact for their wedding night.
It’s an alternative to sinful behavior such as adultery. If a man or woman is tempted to indulge in adulterous sex, for example, masturbating is a much better alternative to committing a sin.
It provides gratification if sex is unfulfilling. Many women do not experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, and some people are just unable to climax with a partner. In these cases, masturbation allows the experience of sexual fulfillment.
It allows us to reap the health benefits of sexual release. Medical research shows that having regular orgasms can contribute to overall health in many ways. Having an orgasm releases physical tension and emotional stress, releases endorphins, and improves circulation. Studies also show that having regular ejaculations decreases the risk of prostate cancer in men. Masturbation allows us to enjoy these benefits whether or not we have a sexual partner.
It enables us to enjoy our bodies and God’s gift of sexual pleasure. Most importantly, masturbation is a way for us to enjoy and celebrate our God-given sexuality. Sexual pleasure and orgasm are blessings from the Lord, and masturbation is one way we can experience them. Our bodies and our sexual organs were made to feel good; if we deny ourselves pleasure, we are refusing one of God’s gifts.
What About Onan?Many people are under the impression that the Bible specifically forbids masturbation. In reality, the Bible does not even mention masturbation. The story of Onan (Genesis 38:7-10) is always cited as an example of how God will punish masturbators; this is where we get the term “Onanism,” which refers to masturbation. However, the story of Onan has absolutely nothing to do with masturbating. After his brother died, Onan was commanded by God to impregnate his brother’s wife. Onan had sex with her, but defied God by pulling out before he ejaculated so she wouldn’t get pregnant. His seed spilled on the ground – due to coitus interruptus, not masturbation – but this detail became equated with masturbation by those who apparently had their own agenda.
There are other passages in the Old Testament (Leviticus 15: 15-32, Leviticus 22:4, Deuteronomy 23:9-11) that refer to “emissions of semen” and what is necessary to purify one’s self after an ejaculation, or if you get semen on yourself or your clothing. There is no mention about how the emission occurs, although it would seem like masturbation could definitely be a possibility. However, it’s important to note that these passages say nothing about masturbation being sinful – simply that you must ritually cleanse yourself after ejaculating. So keep some tissues, paper towels, or wet wipes handy when you masturbate.
Thank God for the Blessing of MasturbationGod made our bodies, so if we think our bodies are dirty and shameful, we are shunning God’s divine creation. And if we masturbate with shame and feelings of sinfulness, we are besmirching God’s blessing. Instead, we should celebrate our bodies and our sexual nature, and rejoice in the pleasure and satisfaction that they can bring us through masturbation. God’s birthright to us is joy, happiness, and health, and there are few moments more joyous than the moment of orgasm. Therefore, every time we masturbate, we should say a prayer of gratitude, thanking the Lord for our bodies, for sexual pleasure, and for masturbation as a means of experiencing the bliss of orgasm. Remember also the many ways that masturbation helps keep us physically and spiritually healthy. Masturbation is truly a gift from God, and one that we should use with respect and righteousness to glorify Him.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
sex education 7
Threesomes Within a Christian MarriageJune 8, 2005
When a man and woman have joined together in a loving and holy marriage union, they may sometimes find that their love for one another and for God spills over outside of their relationship. Or they may find that other people are drawn to the joy, bliss, and passion that they radiate. In such situations, the desire or opportunity may arise to involve a third individual in their relationship – to form a threesome. Is this a temptation into sin, or a calling to a higher spiritual love? The answer is not clear in all situations, so we must turn to the Scriptures for guidance. Is a Christian Threesome Possible?
The possibility of a threesome, or ménage a trois, brings up two main issues of concern to Christians, those of homosexuality and adultery. Much has been said about Biblical prohibitions against both of these behaviors, but we must look at this situation carefully in context to see how and whether these rules apply. Let’s first consider the problem of homosexuality as it relates to a threesome. It’s common knowledge that in several passages in both the Old and New Testament the Bible prohibits homosexual acts between men. Although two men having simultaneous sexual relations with one woman may not have any overt homosexual contact between them, the act of sharing a woman and being together in a sexual situation is nevertheless homoerotic and suggests implied homosexuality, as well as presenting a temptation to experiment where one may ordinarily not. For this reason, we feel it is best for a couple to avoid bringing another man into the picture.
Most people assume the Biblical prohibition against male homosexuality also includes sex between women – lesbianism or female bisexuality. However, this is a questionable conclusion, since the Bible makes little or no mention of women with regard to this subject, and because the Bible, for better or worse, often holds men and women to different standards regarding sex and sexual roles. Therefore, we believe that lesbianism cannot be seen in the same light as male homosexuality through the Scriptures.
The one passage that is frequently cited as condemning female homosexuality is found in Romans 1:26-27: "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions: for their women exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature. And in the same way also the men abandoned the natural use of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts…” The idea of women going “against nature” is typically interpreted to mean women lusting after women. However, we believe that what Paul is referring to when he speaks of women “going against nature” is not female homosexuality per se, but rather the reversal of sexual roles that goes against the natural order established by God.
Of course, this does have relevance to the issue of female homosexuality, as many lesbians do assume masculine roles and attitudes, adopt male clothing and mannerisms, and play the part of a male in their relationships with women. Women who fall into this category (“butch” lesbians, or “bulldykes”) are indeed going against nature with regards to their sexuality. At the same time, however, there are many women who engage in lesbian or bisexual activity who nevertheless maintain a traditional feminine role and demeanor (i.e., “lipstick” lesbians). Since there is no specific prohibition against lesbian sex, as long as these women remain within the boundaries of the female role prescribed by Scripture, and submit to the authority of the men in their lives, we assume it is permissible. Of course, if their husband or father objected, that would be another story. Isn’t a Threesome Adultery?
This leads directly to the subject of adultery, and whether female bisexual relations would be considered adultery in this context. This is another Biblical gray area, because within the Scripture and within the codes of Biblical law, adultery is always represented as intercourse between a man and a woman, specifically between a man and another man’s wife. Numbers 5 describes in detail the procedure for trying and punishing a woman for adultery, a process that can be initiated by the woman’s husband if his “wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, and a man has intercourse with her.” or “(I)f a spirit of jealousy comes over (the husband) and he is jealous of his wife when she has defiled herself, or if a spirit of jealousy comes over him and he is jealous of his wife when she has not defiled herself.” (Numbers 5:12-14) Since a husband’s jealousy can be aroused whether or not his wife has actually had sex with another man, what is pertinent here is not the act of extramarital intercourse, but the husband’s feeling of being wronged. So a wife’s lesbian activities, even though not in the parameters of what the Bible defines as adulterous behavior, could nevertheless be considered adultery if it makes the wife’s husband jealous.
Of course, many heterosexual men, rather than feeling threatened by lesbian sex, are fascinated by it, and in this case, the exploration of the wife’s sexuality with another woman could actually serve to draw the husband and wife closer together. However, in this situation we must ask what degree of participation is appropriate for the male, and how should he conduct himself so as not to commit adultery against his wife. This is a slippery slope, but if we look to the Scriptures, we can establish some guidelines for what is permissible.
The Old Testament is full of references to Biblical men, such as Solomon, David, and others, who had not only multiple wives, but also harems of concubines at their disposal. Today the practice of polygyny (one man having multiple wives) is illegal in most places. Although we can acknowledge polygyny in principal, we must recognize and honor the primacy and priority of the marriage bond between one husband and one wife. Whenever a third party is introduced into this equation, it must only be to support and strengthen the existing marriage bond between those two individuals. So, if bringing in another woman would in any way undermine the relationship between husband and wife, it should not be pursued. Playing by God’s Rules
If, on the other hand, a married couple feels their relationship would benefit from them establishing a loving involvement another woman, out of respect for the couple’s marriage, and out of respect for any marital attachments of the other woman, they must abide by certain limits and conditions:
(1) To avoid the impropriety of male homosexuality, a heterosexual couple should not under any circumstances form a threesome with another man.(2) Both women involved in the threesome must be willing to keep within traditional female roles (i.e., not taking on masculine appearance or behavior in or out of the bedroom) and recognize the male as the leader in the relationship.(3) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, it may be permissible for the husband to have relations with her only with his wife’s consent.(4) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, but the wife does not wish her to have relations with the other woman, the husband should respect this.(5) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, her husband must not have objections to the relationship.(6) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, the husband should refrain from having any sexual relations with her, and should make every effort to control his fantasies about her. He should concentrate his attention on his own wife. The latter case is the most difficult for the husband, since he must not only refrain from having relations with the other married woman, in order to avoid making them both adulterers, but he must also refrain from having lustful thoughts about her, because of what Matthew 5:28 tells us: “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In this situation it is recommended that in order to avoid temptation, both the husband and his wife’s female partner focus their attentions and affection on the wife. If the husband finds it difficult to control his thoughts and fantasies about the other woman, it may be helpful to realize the meaning of this passage, which is that if you commit an act in your thoughts, it’s the same as committing it in real life. If a man imagines having intercourse with a married woman, then indeed, he has committed adultery in his heart. Instead, we would counsel this man to imagine that same married woman having sex with his wife; by taking himself out of the picture, he renders himself blameless. When in doubt, a married man would do well to apply this same principle in any situation involving a threesome with his wife and another woman.
To summarize, we feel a Christian threesome is morally acceptable if it meets these conditions: It must be composed of one man and two women, all of whom recognize and maintain proper sex roles for men and women in and out of the bedroom. All married members of the threesome must consent to the arrangement and have consent from their spouses. And finally, the purpose of the relationship must be that it ultimately strengthens the existing bond between husband and wife and allows all three parties to share and celebrate their love of God
When a man and woman have joined together in a loving and holy marriage union, they may sometimes find that their love for one another and for God spills over outside of their relationship. Or they may find that other people are drawn to the joy, bliss, and passion that they radiate. In such situations, the desire or opportunity may arise to involve a third individual in their relationship – to form a threesome. Is this a temptation into sin, or a calling to a higher spiritual love? The answer is not clear in all situations, so we must turn to the Scriptures for guidance. Is a Christian Threesome Possible?
The possibility of a threesome, or ménage a trois, brings up two main issues of concern to Christians, those of homosexuality and adultery. Much has been said about Biblical prohibitions against both of these behaviors, but we must look at this situation carefully in context to see how and whether these rules apply. Let’s first consider the problem of homosexuality as it relates to a threesome. It’s common knowledge that in several passages in both the Old and New Testament the Bible prohibits homosexual acts between men. Although two men having simultaneous sexual relations with one woman may not have any overt homosexual contact between them, the act of sharing a woman and being together in a sexual situation is nevertheless homoerotic and suggests implied homosexuality, as well as presenting a temptation to experiment where one may ordinarily not. For this reason, we feel it is best for a couple to avoid bringing another man into the picture.
Most people assume the Biblical prohibition against male homosexuality also includes sex between women – lesbianism or female bisexuality. However, this is a questionable conclusion, since the Bible makes little or no mention of women with regard to this subject, and because the Bible, for better or worse, often holds men and women to different standards regarding sex and sexual roles. Therefore, we believe that lesbianism cannot be seen in the same light as male homosexuality through the Scriptures.
The one passage that is frequently cited as condemning female homosexuality is found in Romans 1:26-27: "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions: for their women exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature. And in the same way also the men abandoned the natural use of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts…” The idea of women going “against nature” is typically interpreted to mean women lusting after women. However, we believe that what Paul is referring to when he speaks of women “going against nature” is not female homosexuality per se, but rather the reversal of sexual roles that goes against the natural order established by God.
Of course, this does have relevance to the issue of female homosexuality, as many lesbians do assume masculine roles and attitudes, adopt male clothing and mannerisms, and play the part of a male in their relationships with women. Women who fall into this category (“butch” lesbians, or “bulldykes”) are indeed going against nature with regards to their sexuality. At the same time, however, there are many women who engage in lesbian or bisexual activity who nevertheless maintain a traditional feminine role and demeanor (i.e., “lipstick” lesbians). Since there is no specific prohibition against lesbian sex, as long as these women remain within the boundaries of the female role prescribed by Scripture, and submit to the authority of the men in their lives, we assume it is permissible. Of course, if their husband or father objected, that would be another story. Isn’t a Threesome Adultery?
This leads directly to the subject of adultery, and whether female bisexual relations would be considered adultery in this context. This is another Biblical gray area, because within the Scripture and within the codes of Biblical law, adultery is always represented as intercourse between a man and a woman, specifically between a man and another man’s wife. Numbers 5 describes in detail the procedure for trying and punishing a woman for adultery, a process that can be initiated by the woman’s husband if his “wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, and a man has intercourse with her.” or “(I)f a spirit of jealousy comes over (the husband) and he is jealous of his wife when she has defiled herself, or if a spirit of jealousy comes over him and he is jealous of his wife when she has not defiled herself.” (Numbers 5:12-14) Since a husband’s jealousy can be aroused whether or not his wife has actually had sex with another man, what is pertinent here is not the act of extramarital intercourse, but the husband’s feeling of being wronged. So a wife’s lesbian activities, even though not in the parameters of what the Bible defines as adulterous behavior, could nevertheless be considered adultery if it makes the wife’s husband jealous.
Of course, many heterosexual men, rather than feeling threatened by lesbian sex, are fascinated by it, and in this case, the exploration of the wife’s sexuality with another woman could actually serve to draw the husband and wife closer together. However, in this situation we must ask what degree of participation is appropriate for the male, and how should he conduct himself so as not to commit adultery against his wife. This is a slippery slope, but if we look to the Scriptures, we can establish some guidelines for what is permissible.
The Old Testament is full of references to Biblical men, such as Solomon, David, and others, who had not only multiple wives, but also harems of concubines at their disposal. Today the practice of polygyny (one man having multiple wives) is illegal in most places. Although we can acknowledge polygyny in principal, we must recognize and honor the primacy and priority of the marriage bond between one husband and one wife. Whenever a third party is introduced into this equation, it must only be to support and strengthen the existing marriage bond between those two individuals. So, if bringing in another woman would in any way undermine the relationship between husband and wife, it should not be pursued. Playing by God’s Rules
If, on the other hand, a married couple feels their relationship would benefit from them establishing a loving involvement another woman, out of respect for the couple’s marriage, and out of respect for any marital attachments of the other woman, they must abide by certain limits and conditions:
(1) To avoid the impropriety of male homosexuality, a heterosexual couple should not under any circumstances form a threesome with another man.(2) Both women involved in the threesome must be willing to keep within traditional female roles (i.e., not taking on masculine appearance or behavior in or out of the bedroom) and recognize the male as the leader in the relationship.(3) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, it may be permissible for the husband to have relations with her only with his wife’s consent.(4) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, but the wife does not wish her to have relations with the other woman, the husband should respect this.(5) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, her husband must not have objections to the relationship.(6) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, the husband should refrain from having any sexual relations with her, and should make every effort to control his fantasies about her. He should concentrate his attention on his own wife. The latter case is the most difficult for the husband, since he must not only refrain from having relations with the other married woman, in order to avoid making them both adulterers, but he must also refrain from having lustful thoughts about her, because of what Matthew 5:28 tells us: “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In this situation it is recommended that in order to avoid temptation, both the husband and his wife’s female partner focus their attentions and affection on the wife. If the husband finds it difficult to control his thoughts and fantasies about the other woman, it may be helpful to realize the meaning of this passage, which is that if you commit an act in your thoughts, it’s the same as committing it in real life. If a man imagines having intercourse with a married woman, then indeed, he has committed adultery in his heart. Instead, we would counsel this man to imagine that same married woman having sex with his wife; by taking himself out of the picture, he renders himself blameless. When in doubt, a married man would do well to apply this same principle in any situation involving a threesome with his wife and another woman.
To summarize, we feel a Christian threesome is morally acceptable if it meets these conditions: It must be composed of one man and two women, all of whom recognize and maintain proper sex roles for men and women in and out of the bedroom. All married members of the threesome must consent to the arrangement and have consent from their spouses. And finally, the purpose of the relationship must be that it ultimately strengthens the existing bond between husband and wife and allows all three parties to share and celebrate their love of God
sex education 6
Oral Sex in Accordance with God's Will
Since the publication of our original article on anal sex and God’s will, we have received several inquiries asking to clarify God’s position concerning oral sex. We are gratified that so many Christians are hungry for the word of the Lord and are actively seeking the Truth so that they may fulfill His plan in all areas of their lives.
The Good News About Oral SexLike anal sex, oral sex is the subject of much confusion and disagreement among the faithful. There are those who say that oral sex is unnatural because God did not intend our mouths to be used in such a manner. Others associate oral-genital contact with the sexual depravities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As you will see in the Scripture, neither one of these views is supported. Not only that, but oral sex has benefits that are of particular importance to Christians: oral sex allows the natural prevention of unwanted pregnancy and is an alternative to premarital intercourse for those committed to preserving their chastity before marriage.
There is nothing in the Bible that forbids engaging in acts of oral-genital contact. Oral sex has wrongly been grouped in with “sodomy” and the sexual sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. As we have seen with anal sex, this argument does not hold water, because the sins of the Sodomites were specifically homosexual and/or nonconsensual in nature. There is no way this could be extrapolated to argue against a heterosexual act of oral sex for mutual pleasure. On the other hand, the Bible does contain some favorable references to oral sex, some in poetic language and some more explicit.
“His Fruit Was Sweet to My Taste”In Christian discussions concerning oral sex, the Song of Solomon is most frequently cited as an example of scriptural allusion to the act: Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
While the previous passage refers to fellatio, the following can be read as a metaphor for cunnilingus: Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)
And again, the Song of Solomon urges lovers to eat and drink freely of one another’s bodies: I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. (Song of Solomon 5:1) This reading of the scriptures portrays the act of oral sex as both natural, like eating, and a joyful expression of love, passion, and sexual sharing between a man and woman.
In the New Testament, this passage directs partners to render “benevolence” to one another, which can be extended to performing oral sex on each other as part of their duty to the Lord and one another: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (Corinthians 7:33) Not only does this passage imply that oral sex between a man and woman is acceptable and desirable, but as we shall see, the Bible also provides more specific edicts concerning the completion of the oral sex act, namely swallowing the male emission.
The Necessity of Swallowing - The Sin of Spilling SeedMost of us are familiar with the Biblical story of Onan, whose sin against God was that of spilling his seed on the ground:
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. (Genesis 38:9)
This scriptural passage has traditionally been used as an injunction against masturbation. However, upon closer reading, it becomes apparent that this scenario has nothing to do with masturbation at all. Onan was not masturbating; he was copulating with his brother’s wife (and there was a good reason for that, in God’s plan). His sin was pulling out (coitus interruptus) and ejaculating on the ground rather than into the woman. He did so in order to avoid impregnating her. However, he could have easily avoided God’s wrath (and the penalty of death), by simply having the woman fellate him and then swallow his semen. This would have kept him from impregnating her, as well as completely prevented the spilling of seed that was an offense in God’s eyes.
The extreme case of Onan aside, how bad is it in general to spill semen? The Old Testament ranks it with other acts of uncleanliness that meet with God’s disapproval: And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. 17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. (Leviticus 15:16-17) Getting ejaculate on oneself or one’s clothing results in uncleanness that requires extensive reparations and atonement. Obviously one simple way to prevent the spillage of semen is to have your partner perform fellatio and swallow the emission. In fact, in light of these scriptures, performing fellatio to completion and then spitting out the resulting emission seems almost unthinkable.
The Benefits of Swallowing - Drink of the Living WaterAside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of “living water”:
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?...15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come back." (John 4:10-16)
“Living water” in this context refers to semen, which literally is the liquid of life. As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul. When the woman asks Jesus where she can get this “water”, he tells her to fetch her husband, clearly with the intention of instructing her on how to fellate him and swallow his semen.
Oral Sex in ChristIn summary, we can say that the Scripture supports and even encourages the act of oral sex between loving heterosexual partners. Moreover, the Bible specifically encourages fellatio to completion (orgasm) with the female partner consuming or swallowing the ejaculate. This prevents spilling seed, which is an affront to the Lord, and also provides spiritual benefit to the receiving partner. Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage. For these reasons, all Christian men and women should feel confident and comfortable including oral sex as part of their sexual life in accordance with God's will
Since the publication of our original article on anal sex and God’s will, we have received several inquiries asking to clarify God’s position concerning oral sex. We are gratified that so many Christians are hungry for the word of the Lord and are actively seeking the Truth so that they may fulfill His plan in all areas of their lives.
The Good News About Oral SexLike anal sex, oral sex is the subject of much confusion and disagreement among the faithful. There are those who say that oral sex is unnatural because God did not intend our mouths to be used in such a manner. Others associate oral-genital contact with the sexual depravities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As you will see in the Scripture, neither one of these views is supported. Not only that, but oral sex has benefits that are of particular importance to Christians: oral sex allows the natural prevention of unwanted pregnancy and is an alternative to premarital intercourse for those committed to preserving their chastity before marriage.
There is nothing in the Bible that forbids engaging in acts of oral-genital contact. Oral sex has wrongly been grouped in with “sodomy” and the sexual sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. As we have seen with anal sex, this argument does not hold water, because the sins of the Sodomites were specifically homosexual and/or nonconsensual in nature. There is no way this could be extrapolated to argue against a heterosexual act of oral sex for mutual pleasure. On the other hand, the Bible does contain some favorable references to oral sex, some in poetic language and some more explicit.
“His Fruit Was Sweet to My Taste”In Christian discussions concerning oral sex, the Song of Solomon is most frequently cited as an example of scriptural allusion to the act: Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
While the previous passage refers to fellatio, the following can be read as a metaphor for cunnilingus: Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)
And again, the Song of Solomon urges lovers to eat and drink freely of one another’s bodies: I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. (Song of Solomon 5:1) This reading of the scriptures portrays the act of oral sex as both natural, like eating, and a joyful expression of love, passion, and sexual sharing between a man and woman.
In the New Testament, this passage directs partners to render “benevolence” to one another, which can be extended to performing oral sex on each other as part of their duty to the Lord and one another: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (Corinthians 7:33) Not only does this passage imply that oral sex between a man and woman is acceptable and desirable, but as we shall see, the Bible also provides more specific edicts concerning the completion of the oral sex act, namely swallowing the male emission.
The Necessity of Swallowing - The Sin of Spilling SeedMost of us are familiar with the Biblical story of Onan, whose sin against God was that of spilling his seed on the ground:
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. (Genesis 38:9)
This scriptural passage has traditionally been used as an injunction against masturbation. However, upon closer reading, it becomes apparent that this scenario has nothing to do with masturbation at all. Onan was not masturbating; he was copulating with his brother’s wife (and there was a good reason for that, in God’s plan). His sin was pulling out (coitus interruptus) and ejaculating on the ground rather than into the woman. He did so in order to avoid impregnating her. However, he could have easily avoided God’s wrath (and the penalty of death), by simply having the woman fellate him and then swallow his semen. This would have kept him from impregnating her, as well as completely prevented the spilling of seed that was an offense in God’s eyes.
The extreme case of Onan aside, how bad is it in general to spill semen? The Old Testament ranks it with other acts of uncleanliness that meet with God’s disapproval: And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. 17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. (Leviticus 15:16-17) Getting ejaculate on oneself or one’s clothing results in uncleanness that requires extensive reparations and atonement. Obviously one simple way to prevent the spillage of semen is to have your partner perform fellatio and swallow the emission. In fact, in light of these scriptures, performing fellatio to completion and then spitting out the resulting emission seems almost unthinkable.
The Benefits of Swallowing - Drink of the Living WaterAside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of “living water”:
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?...15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come back." (John 4:10-16)
“Living water” in this context refers to semen, which literally is the liquid of life. As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul. When the woman asks Jesus where she can get this “water”, he tells her to fetch her husband, clearly with the intention of instructing her on how to fellate him and swallow his semen.
Oral Sex in ChristIn summary, we can say that the Scripture supports and even encourages the act of oral sex between loving heterosexual partners. Moreover, the Bible specifically encourages fellatio to completion (orgasm) with the female partner consuming or swallowing the ejaculate. This prevents spilling seed, which is an affront to the Lord, and also provides spiritual benefit to the receiving partner. Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage. For these reasons, all Christian men and women should feel confident and comfortable including oral sex as part of their sexual life in accordance with God's will
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